In high school, girls dream about dating university boys, but what happens when you enter university and it actually happens? How is it different from dating in high school?
To really understand what it is like to be in a university relationship, Her Campus talked to a real-life uni couple. Ashlee Kim and Dylan Palmer met each other last September and are both first years at Carleton University. As soon as mutual friends introduced them, they fell for each other and from that moment, they were inseparable.
But one thing Ashlee Kim knows for sure is that dating in university is totally different from dating in high school.
First and for most: money.
Yes, relationships are not all about giving gifts, but the small things can build up; holidays, anniversaries, dates. In high school, students live at home and money is almost completely disposable. However, with university comes independence and therefore, more money has to be spent on necessities like groceries and laundry.
Kim suggested putting some money away specifically for the relationship as a way to ensure that you are able to treat both yourself and your partner sometimes. Doing things away from university is really important to get to know the person outside school walls, especially when both you and your boyfriend live on campus.
Second, when dating a person in university, people have to take into account that they might have to do long distance. In high school, you all live in or at least around the school district. In university, the person you end up dating may live pretty far from where you live.
“People have to bear in mind that summer is no longer two months, it is four. You will [likely] be apart from your boyfriend for long periods of time,” said Kim.
But it’s not all bad. Long distance tests whether you are in it because you want to have the label or if you truly benefit from the relationship. To make it through a four-month summer while being separated from a boyfriend or girlfriend, Kim suggested using Skype to simulate talking in person.
Third, commitment is a big word when dating in university. Chances are you have a pretty heavy work load and balancing it with a social life and a relationship can be difficult. In university, the person you date should be someone who is worth spending your time with because you now need to make time to spend with your boyfriend. To make the most of your time, try a study date, instead of going out to dinner.
Fourth, in high school, you may meet your boyfriend’s parents if they happen to be home when you go over to visit him. In university, you go over to the parent’s house solely to meet the parents.
“Once you meet his parents, you see a lot more sides to the person you are dating because it is not the school environment anymore and you get to see him for who he is,” said Kim.
Meeting the parents can be a little nerve-racking so try to get to know the parents’ interests prior to meeting them to help start up a conversation.
Finally, a big difference between high school and university relationships is the variety of people to choose from.
Before university, you probably knew the people in your community and at your high school. In university, you meet people not only in different majors, but from different parts of the world.
“You are able to learn more about yourself by meeting multiple types of people,” said Kim.
The best tip for finding a relationship in university? Get to know yourself first, that way you can pick someone who is right for you.