Okay, so you started liking someone. There’s no doubt you’re into them and you think they might be feeling the same way too. Maybe by now, you’re even considering dating this person. You like how they carry themselves, their mannerisms, the way they make you laugh. Their temperament is comforting in an “I feel like I’ve known you for years” kind of way and maybe even oddly familiar. It seems almost too easy to have conversations with them and you feel at ease whenever you are around them. You may soon come to realize, as I did, that you like your best friend. No, not your actual best friend. Your crush or potential partner bears a striking emotional and personality resemblance to your best friend.
Once you have realized this, how will you feel about it? If you are like me, you will become worried about every similarity you discover. Not because your BFF is not the greatest friend someone could have, or that they have any serious flaws, you just need to consider if you can handle two of these similar people in your life. Fundamentally, the connection you feel towards your new crush makes sense, because you chose your BFF for a reason. However, it can make you second-guess if you really like them for them or because they represent something familiar. Is it worth it to branch out and find a new personality type in a partner that could complement your own equally or even better? I am here to plead the case for looking at the brighter side of these concerns.
Although this situation can bring on complex feelings, which can potentially make you indecisive, there are maybe more pros than cons that will arise. First, having a partner similar to your BFF means they will probably fit seamlessly into your friend group. Their personality type will fit in with your friends’ personalities, which can be a huge relief. Second, your partner will be able to bring out great qualities your BFF already brings out in you. For example, if your bestie is the most positive person you know and you cherish this about them, having a partner with the same attribute can give you that wholesome energy even more often.
At the end of the day, finding someone you really care about does not mean you have to venture far outside what your comfort zone if you do not need to. Equally as important as any commonalities you might see the unique personality traits that make them who they are can teach you just how special they are in their own way.