FINALS ARE UPON US!
It’s all come down to these next few weeks – you’ve walked crowded halls (cough TORY/UC RAMP cough), gotten numb bum from the hard plastic lecture chairs, and frantically scribbled notes while trying to grasp even a little bit of what the Professor was saying, while slowly building up your caffeine tolerance for this special time of year. It’s finals season and if you haven’t stayed up till 3 a.m. writing out the final pages of your paper due at 9 a.m. the following morning, then you haven’t lived.
For those who are new to Carleton this year (I’m lookin’ at you Froshies!) prepare yourselves for the closest thing to a Gladiator/Hunger Games mashup you will ever encounter. You will cry, you will laugh, you will stare at your screen or textbook for five hours and not grasp a single thing and cry again – but – The most important thing is, you survive. You’ll come out of this like an amazing epic phoenix with laser beams and light shows and fireworks shooting out from behind you. You are Harry Potter and these finals are He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. You can do this. You are Beyoncé, and these finals are potato.
Since I’ve now given you your finals pep talk, here are 15 things you have to look forward to during your finals!
1. Coffee is your new best friend, and Red Eye is your go to drink at Starbucks sometimes Black Eye if you’re feeling adventurous(red eye: coffee+1 shot espresso; black eye: coffee+2 shots espresso)
2. You can’t remember what sleep is
3. You’ve also forgotten how to life
4. You also can’t remember the last time you wore anything other than sweatpants
5. You look at your pile of textbooks and notes like this
6. You packed up all your stuff and travelled ALL the way to MacO, only to realize there is absolutely no free seats in the entire building
7. You haven’t had a ‘proper meal’ in days
All of your food comes in a box, or is delivered to your doorstep (2for1 pizza is life).
8. Meanwhile some of your friends are already finished their exams, and are comfortably sitting at home with hot cocoa, watching Elf, and snuggling their pets
9. Eventually, two days before whatever is due, you realize you have literally done EVERYTHING ELSE, but actually study
Oh, your nails need to be painted? Perfect. You wanna try out that new craft on pinterest? Let’s do it. You happen to haaave to organize all your accessories and hair products? Now’s the time.
10. And you panic and/or curl up in a ball and cry
11. But then finally sit your butt down and study like you’ve never studied before
12. And then you hand in/ finish writing your first exam
13. Until you finally complete your very last assignment/paper/exam and hand that puppy in
14. But let’s be honest, you do get a little worried about how you did, but you’ve already handed it in. It’s done. Let it go.
15. So who cares what happens now! YOU’RE DONE! No more thinking about studying, talking about studying, or doing any studying! You can now climb out of your hovel, rejoin society, be reunited with your friends, and for the love of all that’s holy DO YOUR DARN LAUNDRY!
…That is, until next semesters finals where we can all go through this lovely cycle aaaaall over again! YAY!
Happy Holidays Collegiettes! XOX