Never Have I Ever Been In A Relationship

Yes, when playing “Never Have I Ever” I have to keep my fingers up if this is one of the questions. (If I’m being honest, my fingers almost always stay up because I never do anything.) I always get the same reaction from people that are unaware to this apparent breaking news; “You mean you’ve NEVER had a boyfriend?” The looks on their faces is a mixture of both shock and pity. I used to be embarrassed to admit that this is true—I’ve never been in a relationship. But honestly there is nothing for me to be embarrassed about.  

Along with people looking at me as though I survived some horrific experience upon learning this little fact about me, there are preconceived notions and misconceptions people have. These include, but are not limited to: my parents won’t let me date (which is definitely not true, my mom would do a backflip if I brought a guy home) or that I’m religious to the point where I don’t want to love any man but God (I do love God, but again, not true). Then, there is the ever popular thought that I’m just too picky. Okay, maybe the last one has some truth to it.  

I mean, of course I’ve planned my wedding in my head after the cute guy in my class held the door open for me twice, and obviously Zac Efron will fall in love with me once we finally meet. But when it comes to liking a guy to the point of wanting to date him, I’ve only ever liked a handful of guys; all of which didn’t like me back.  

I like to think that I’m a nice person and that one day I’ll make some guy extremely happy. I also like to think that the reason the guys I liked didn’t feel the same way is because we’re still young and they don’t know what they want, or the fact that sometimes two people just aren’t compatible. When I was younger I always felt that there was something about myself that I could change to get these boys to like me, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve followed the saying, “your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.”- Unknown 

I don’t want to have a boyfriend for the sake of saying I have one. That wouldn’t be fair to them and I would be cheating myself out of someone who is great. I want to be able to have fun with them but also have serious conversations when need be. I want a guy who is my boyfriend as well as my best friend. Most importantly, I want a guy who makes me incredibly happy. I don’t want to settle for less than I deserve. Until I find a guy that that is able to meet those needs, I have no shame in holding up my fingers while playing a silly party game.