Here’s a story to begin:
A while ago, I think last year, I was talking with a friend about body image, a bit about why and how it exists, and a bit about how we each draw our respective confidences. I believe I was in either an art history class or a Greek literature class at the time, and we had recently been studying the famous classical marble statues we all recognize. Basically every single Greek statue of a woman depicts the subject as voluptuous and full, as we all know. I would say my body type is relatively in line with these women being depicted in terms of the “hourglass figure” they all have— give or take a varying differences in shape and size, I also have arms and a head. So, with that in mind, I go to say how I find it really encouraging how that body type, which isn’t particularly thin or thick, but rather “average,” was held as beautiful in the Greek culture and has come to represent this sort of classical beauty now.
My friend is sort of quiet, then says, “I find that discouraging, actually. My body doesn’t look like that, and as an art major, I have to look at that stuff all the time. It’s hard to see myself as beautiful because of that, sometimes.” I was pretty floored by that. Here was one of my best friends, who is so beautiful in so, so many ways, and who is naturally shorter and leaner than me. She didn’t fit the “beautiful” Greek-statuesque look that I, and so many others, romanticize to feel better about ourselves. And here I am, blabbering on about stupid Greek sh*t, and how it’s super beautiful and whatever because that is how my body looks. I felt like such an idiot. And in that moment, I realized how stupid it is that this body image hierarchy is so ingrained in our brains that we don’t even think about how it applies to people other than ourselves. There are two sides to everything. I just thought, “Wow. Screw all of that, actually,” and to this day, I haven’t had a more potent “Everyone Is Actually So Beautiful” moment. There is no “more beautiful” body type. There is no “normal” body type. The limit does not exist.
Here’s an Australian advertisement that perpetuates this. The Aussie national average for women (at the time this ad was made) was 154lbs. Which woman weighs it?
Trick question. They all do! Six women can weigh the exact same and look totally different based on how their body is naturally arranged. None of them are overweight according to the national average. This ad also shows how body weight in pounds isn’t a good way to judge your size, yet that’s the main way we compare ourselves with others. We constantly fight that scale back down, but we neglect the fact that our body is a unique bouquet—each arranged differently.
No one person is the same. You all have to understand that models and movie stars and even regular thin people aren’t the social norm, they are not a finishing line; HOWEVER, just because their body type is not “average” does not mean that it is not normal. Just because someone is skinny, doesn’t mean that they don’t eat or are exercise freaks. Just because someone is heavy doesn’t mean that they are irresponsible with their food choices or lazy. A body is a body.
We need to stop trying to change ourselves and stop trying to get others to change themselves and focus on the real problem that needs changing—society’s concept of “normal.” Don’t strive to be skinny because the advertisements have told you it’s normal. Be a healthy you—mentally as well as physically. That’s what is important. And if your thighs have to touch for you to be truly happy, that is fine. No matter what anyone else says…no matter what you think your mirror says. And there’s nothing wrong with desiring to be more fit or thinner—we all do it, we all want it, but please don’t see your current self as abnormal. Because you’re not.