It’s still pitch-black outside when our alarm starts buzzing at 5:30 a.m., a somber reminder of the bus leaving to downtown San Francisco in 30 minutes that I’ve got be on. After climbing on and off that bus, at 7:10 a.m. I grab another that delivers me to a train station in Oakland.
The train I get on there at 9:00 a.m. won’t arrive at the San Luis Obispo train station until 3:20 in the afternoon, where another bus will pick me up at 3:45 p.m. to take me back to campus. To many, this painstaking amount of travel is completely absurd – a worst-case scenario to be avoided at all costs. To a broke couple in college split apart by hundreds of miles, it’s just any other weekend.
As many freshmen in a long-distance relationship, I know firsthand the sinking feeling you get senior year when you realize you may be split up from your high school sweetheart. Although 33 percent of college relationships are long-distance and 75 percent of college students will try long-distance at some point, many are quick to write off a long-distance couple as being destined to fail. Despite what many people will tell you, I’m here to prove that, yes, long-distance can work!
Myth One: Growing Apart
It seems like common sense that hundreds of miles over the span of four years will inevitably drive a wedge in any relationship, but research shows otherwise. In a study of over 200 long-distance couples over the span of two years, the couples reported levels of satisfaction, intimacy, trust, and commitment as high as those who were in geographically close relationships (Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide, Gregory Guldner). Instead of growing apart, strong couples will learn to grow together and accept the changes they experience in college. Still, make sure to keep in contact as much as possible and plan trips to see each other at least once a month!
Myth Two: Missing Out on the College Experience
The image most people have of a long distance boyfriend/girlfriend is someone who spends three hours a day on Skype – but this is far from accurate! Although I have noticed people in long-distance relationships are less likely to head out to frat parties on Saturday nights, most feel like they aren’t missing out on much. Instead, long-distance couples create their own experience, like meeting each other’s new friends, going on road trips, and finding creative ways to stay in touch.
Myth Three: Long-distance couples are more likely to cheat
This is another myth rooted in what seems like common sense. There’s no way they’d find out if you cheated, so why not? Frankly, if someone is going to cheat, they’ll find a way whether or not you’re doing long-distance. If you trust your partner to be faithful, you’ll be fine regardless.
Myth Four: No one else does long-distance, and you’ll be the only one who isn’t single
The first week of college, I realized half of my hall was in a relationship coming into their first year – and the majority of them are still together today, nine months later. It’s really not uncommon to find other people in the same boat. I was lucky enough to have a roommate also doing long-distance, so we are able to share experiences and help each other through the rougher times.
Now, the truth about long-distance:
I remember that all I wanted going into my freshman year in an LDR was to hear from someone, with experience, what it’s actually like. So to save you the trouble, here it is: while it’s definitely not for the weak of heart, if you’re with the right person, it is entirely possible. Between Amtrak tickets and gas prices, the cost can add up – but you’ll learn a lot about public transit (trust me on that). You also are able to focus on school and new friends while still having the support and unconditional love of your boyfriend/girlfriend. And the best part, absolutely nothing compares to being reunited again after spending time apart.
When it comes down to it, don’t give up on a great relationship simply for fear it won’t work out! As the saying goes, nothing worth having comes easy.
This post was contributed by Trudy Vinson, a freshman graphic communications major.