At the start of the year, I deemed 2019 the “year of gratitude.” My goal was to spend the entire year trying to shift my more negative thoughts to thoughts of thankfulness. Every time I felt lonely, I decided instead to think about how I’m grateful to have a supportive family that I can call anytime. Every time school overwhelmed me, I asked myself to remember how lucky I am to be getting an education. Every time I feared for the future, I remembered to be thankful for all the options I am given. This habit of thinking changed the way I view myself and my life.
However, a year is a very long time, and naturally, as life got more and more hectic, it was harder and harder to convince myself of these truths. It’s not always easy to see the blessings that surround you when life gets stressful because of academics, when your mental health has taken a hit, or when unexpected tragedy strikes. It’s difficult to be grateful for the lives we get to live when it feels like we’re constantly swimming upstream.
But as we approach the end of the year, a season of giving, being with your loved ones, and looking back on the past year and finding areas of our lives where we can be thankful, I was reminded of what I had set out to do back in January as I headed out of Spanish class the other day. I was walking out of class, holding back tears after having been assigned one more paper to add to my list of tasks that week. I walked down the steps, opening the Notes app on my phone so I could write down everything that was due this week in order to keep the sum from overflowing in my head. But then I did something I rarely ever do: I put my phone in my pocket and decided to just think while I walked home. To gather my thoughts before they got jumbled in with the contents of my phone. It was when I was able to just look around and assess my emotions, that I realized that my anxiety and my stress did not have to be the only emotions I could feel; I could feel stress and I could feel joy. I found a way to feel joy by thinking about all the things I love.
I had bought myself a coffee, justifying its purchase with the long night of studying I had ahead of me, and it made me think about how much I love coffee, how glad I was that it would keep me awake. Then I thought about how beautiful my school’s campus is as I walked home. Normally I think about how tired I am, having to walk up a number of small hills before I can collapse in my bed. Instead, that time I thought about how nice it is to have such beautiful hills around me. Then I thought about how grateful I was to be able to go home to an apartment filled with kindness and warmth, a situation many don’t have. Once I started thinking about all the small blessings in my life, I could not stop. Given everything I have, how can I not be grateful? I cannot control the number of papers I am assigned or the hardships that live behind my closed doors, but I can choose to live gratefully.
With this in mind, I have challenged myself again to think every day about the things I am grateful for. The more you think about what you’re grateful for, the more readily it all appears before you; goodness shows up in abundance when you seek it. This is not to say that I do not allow myself to feel stress or sadness. They are natural emotions that I am allowed to feel, but choosing to see the beauty that is everywhere and choosing to be grateful for the small miracles of my life has kept those emotions from overwhelming the rest. I can recognize happiness when it comes, and I can be grateful for whatever has caused it.
I implore you, reader, to be present today. To look at the world and recognize all that is good amidst the bad. And what better time to do it than now, as Thanksgiving and the holiday season approaches? Turn off your phone and think about five things that make you happy as you walk. It can be as simple as waking up and seeing it’s going to be cold and overcast (my favorite weather). Or it can be thinking about the people who show you they love you, or your favorite book or movie and the story it left you with. Indulge in simple pleasures: eat your favorite food for breakfast, wear something that makes you feel beautiful, listen to your favorite songs, or go on a morning hike and be present. Joy is found in the simplest of moments.
Because she can put it so much better than me, live today with Amy Collette’s words in mind: “Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It’s the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul.”