We love our parents, but we love not being around them just a *little* bit more. Here are some excuses to use for when they inevitably ask, “Are you coming home this Spring Break?”
1. The “Academic” Excuse
You obviously can’t come home, you have to use that week to prepare for next quarter. You’ve got to order books, do all the reading, solve world hunger, solve string theory, clean your backpack… I mean, how could you possibly fit a trip home? Don’t they want you to succeed in life? And by saying “prepare for next quarter,” you actually mean “lay in bed watching Netflix.”
2. The “Responsible” Excuse
Getting home requires things like gas, rideshare, time, oxygen, and many hours bored in a car. It’s just so much better for you and for the environment to stay in SLO. Besides, you add no carbon footprint if you are laying in the sand all day. You’ve got to be the change that saves the environment, right?
3. The “I Didn’t Plan It” Excuse
You know all those friends who are such a terrible influence on you? Yeah, well they also must hate their parents because they planned a trip over Spring Break. It’s not your fault that you already agreed to go, have your name down on the Airbnb, and came up with the idea in the first place. It’s those terrible, terrible friends of yours.
4. The “Not Excuse” Excuse
They can’t ever get upset that you aren’t coming home if you just don’t tell them. When they ask about Spring Break, just pretend that you’re phone service cut out and hang up. Then, do that until Spring Break is over. Warning: This will cause parents to be irritated af.
5. The “Aliens” Excuse
For the most extreme cases, there is only one excuse: extraterrestrial involvement. You can’t go home for Spring Breaks because of aliens. Does this make sense? No. Will this work? Probably not. Will you still think about using it? Absolutely. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
6. The “Honest” Excuse
I mean, I guess you could try to explain to your parents that you want to spend Spring Break relaxing with friends and that you still love them. But that’s crazy… right?
Now, in no way are we condoning lying to your parents, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures, you know? You’re only in college for like, four years, you’ve got to make the most of it. Have a great spring break, Mustangs!