If you’re anything like me, entering into new buildings, walking to unfamiliar settings, and meeting new people is stressful (to the max)! Now, if you are REALLY anything like me, moving away to a completely new city with a different culture and “unmet” friends is nerve-racking, knee-shaking, and fear-inducing. But, fret not my wonderful readers! If I can adapt to college and make new and wonderful friends— then you certainly can too! How you may ask? Well, here are the steps I recommend taking
1) Try a new activity
Ever wanted to get into rock climbing, surfing, reading, city planning, business, environmental sustainability, or teaching? Or never heard of a new activity that sounds fun? Then join a club! Cal Poly has so many clubs with different focuses. There is bound to be something you enjoy. If club fair day, with thousands of people crowded around booths, doesn’t sound fun, then you can look up a club or group on Instagram.
2) Go to new places
Is fitness a passion of yours? Is fitness not a passion of yours but you’re willing to try a Pilates or Zumba class? Then how about taking a class at the REC? With the sweat, pants, and possible tears, you are BOUND to bond with the other tired members. If this high intensity doesn’t sound like a fun morning or evening then try Front Porch for a mellow experience. Front Porch, a free coffee shop right behind the REC is a great place to chill, do homework, and meet new people. The baristas (of which I am biased because I am one) are so kind and love engaging with new people. Perhaps YOU could try being a volunteer barista! Sign-ups are at Front Porch and also on their website— but I would encourage you to go into Front Porch and talk to the (amazing) interns or volunteers.
3) Put yourself out there
Now this is the scariest thing you can do is be vulnerable, but this will also lead to the best payoff— friends! First, when sitting in a new class, I would recommend not sitting in the back away from everyone, but sitting next to someone in the middle of the classroom. In fact, try asking one or two new people in class for the phone numbers. I promise no one will think this is weird— everyone wants to succeed in their classes and everyone wants new friends (but if you by chance meet the person who isn’t interested in new friends, then that is their loss because you are phenomenal).
4) Be confident
People are attracted to those who exude confidence. While this may seem impossible, just fake it till you make it. This is so hard, but each day you will slowly feel more confident. Try saying words of affirmation to yourself in the mirror, wearing clothes you feel like your best self in, eating a delicious meal, or anything else that makes you say “Yes, I am worth it!” I think you are amazing and deserve the world— and I superduper positively hope you feel the same way.
5) Don’t give up
Finding true friends is super hard. I know it took me a while to finally meet people I can be myself around and feel happier after hanging out. Lasting friendships don’t just magically appear, you have to put in effort (and so do the other people!!) and you might even have to make the first move. Ask someone to hang out to get breakfast, lunch or dinner, or go to a ceramics class. The ASI Craft Center offers exciting art classes— maybe ask a new person if they would be interested in doing one. Or, go by yourself and meet other like-minded people. Just keep talking and listening to other people.
6) The Golden Rule
I cannot stress this enough— kindness, empathy, patience, and respect go a LONG way in making friends. No one wants a friend who hurts their feelings. Having interesting conversations, listening instead of hearing, and adding your own personality into a conversation is necessary. Be you— and make sure (even though I know all of my readers and beautiful human beings) that you remember that treating people the way you want to be treated is always shining through in your attitude.
It is so difficult to put yourself out there and talk to new people, especially when it feels like the world is judging you, but I promise you are interesting/fun/beautiful, and worthy of having fulfilling relationships. Finding your people might feel impossible, especially if your roommate and you don’t hang out (which is totally ok, but if you want to then ask!). Don’t settle, you will find true friends, whether it is by trying a new activity by yourself or by hanging out with a group of people. Remember— you are wonderful and WILL make some amazing friends!