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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Cal Poly chapter.

Some exes cannot get the hint that you broke up for a reason and will linger in your life until you cave in to their needs. 

This makes for an even unhealthier relationship than the one you just got out of and can take a huge toll on your mental health and potential relationships! In order for that not to happen, you have to cut them off. So here are 5 ways to get rid of your pesky ex.


  1. Be Honest and Blunt

    1. Honesty really is the best policy. In this situation, it is best to be honest and BLUNT. By tiptoeing around the fact that they need to stop bugging you, you are only giving them hope that they will have a chance with you again. You should even go as far as saying something along the lines of, “Please don’t contact me ever again.” If they are not respecting your wishes to be left alone, then you do not have to be overly polite in order to get the point across. Let them know how you feel in an honest, direct fashion. 

  2. Blocked and Bless

    1. Most people would find this kind of harsh, but it actually will benefit both of you to block your pesky ex. By blocking, you eliminate any connection and form of contact. They simply cannot bother you on the phone. It also will be more helpful for them because there will be no choice but to move on now that they cannot reach you. Block them on social media and your phone number. It will be better this way. You can even let them know you are blocking them, so they know to take you seriously. 

  3. Give up the Custody of your Mutual Friends

    1. Again this sounds a bit rough, but if they were his friends first, let it go. You may have a connection with them, but is it worth your ex trying to talk to you through them? You, your ex, and the mutual friend will end up hurt in this process. If you seriously do make a good friend though, through your ex, you can wait until the wounds have healed and things have cooled down a bit before rekindling your friendship with the mutual. Your ex will most likely need space as well to move on, and seeing you hang out with his friends will not help. 

  4. Take Legal Action

    1. While you should not take legal action every time an ex still has feelings for you, do not be afraid to take legal action and get a restraining order against someone who is bothering you to the point of fear. If they’re showing up at your house, work, or the mall then that is stalking and you have every right to do something about that. Many people feel “bad” for doing this to someone they once loved, but nobody should lie awake at night sweating in fear wondering if their ex is going to do something they would regret. A broken heart can make people do outrageous things, so put yourself first, and take legal action if you feel they have the potential to be dangerous. Better to be safe than sorry.

  5. Move on

    1. The best way for them to move on is to see that you already have. Find yourself, detached from being in a relationship, and do things that make you happy. Hang out with your friends, start dating again, and overall reconnect with yourself.


Breakups suck, plain and simple. In a perfect world, you both walk away knowing it is truly the end, but sometimes one person hangs on. As long as you are confident in what you want (and do not want) from them, they will have no other choice but to let go and move on with their life, just like you.

Alexa Kushner

Cal Poly '22

I am a fourth-year journalism major at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo. I am currently an editor and writer for Her Campus and have been involved with the club since the beginning of my junior year. In the future, I hope to be a broadcast journalist with a news station and I am currently working with Mustang News radio and television to gain more experience in the field. In my free time, I enjoy painting, watching movies and just laughing with friends.