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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Why You Should Date Your Best Friend

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C of C chapter.

In my life, friendships and relationships have always been treated differently. Relationships were based on attraction and chemistry; friendships were always based off of the common ground. After a string of failed relationships, I decided to take a closer look at how I was structuring relationships and who I was with. I made what I consider to be a life-changing realization: you should be dating your best friend. 

Firstly, I think it is important to note that you probably shouldn’t date your best friend of however many years (unless you’re in a Disney Channel rom-com). What “dating your best friend” means is dating someone who you genuinely enjoy being around. Your standards for friendships and relationships should be similar. Dating your best friend can be a tricky thing to navigate.   


Become friends first 

Most people advise against this- but I think friendship is crucial to building a functional relationship. Spend time together before getting intimate. Go on “dates” that you don’t call dates. Get to know the person you want to be with before you label what you are. If the person you are dating doesn’t get along with your friends, you may want to re-evaluate the relationship. Your standards for friends should extend to your potential boyfriends/girlfriends. 

Enjoy your time 

Enjoying the time you spend with your significant other doesn’t always mean the same thing. It means that time spent together shouldn’t feel like a chore. It means that you should look forward to when you’re together, and miss them when you’re apart. It also means, however, that you can spend time apart while still feeling that attachment. Enjoying time together is just as important as enjoying time alone. 

Understand the risks 

While dating someone you consider your best friend can be the best thing for you, there also needs to be an understanding that dating your best friend can have unintended consequences. In a bad breakup, you may feel alone and isolated. If you keep your circle of friends close even during a relationship, however, the potential breakup won’t be too much of a burden.   

Dating your best friend can have more reward than risk, but understanding what’s at jeopardy when you’re intimate with a friend is essential — as in any relationship or friendship, communicating your ideas and thoughts is the best way to form a long-lasting bond. Dating your best friend is the best way, in my opinion, to create a meaningful relationship.

Early Childhood Education | Psychology 4th year student at CofC, fan of cats, coffee, and New Girl