Ah, dating apps. I can’t really tell if they’re one of the best technological innovations to come out of the 21st century or one of the worst. On the one hand, it’s an incredible feat to be able to connect with so many people with a simple swipe, but at the same time, dating and hookup culture has been drastically desensitized because of just how easy it is to meet people within seconds. Nonetheless, it doesn’t kill my curiosity of wanting to see what’s out there, and the pandemic has severely limited the chances that I’ll meet someone in person. So I still have Tinder on my phone, always glaring at me whenever boredom strikes.
Don’t me get wrong, I’ve met some genuinely good people through dating apps. However, that doesn’t mean there aren’t equally as many straight-up terrible ones. Throughout the time I’ve spent swiping aimlessly through prospective partners, I’ve noticed some things guys do that seem to repeat themselves over and over and over again, to the point where I see nearly identical profiles on more than one occasion. Listen, I get it — setting up a profile that’s essentially an elevator pitch on why I should date you isn’t easy, but you would think guys would go beyond the first link that comes up when they Googled “What should I put on my Tinder profile”.
That being said, here’s a list of the top 20 things I’ve seen guys do on Tinder that are just completely overdone and totally unoriginal.
- Fish Pictures
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I think you knew this would be the first one. It’s literally like 7 times out of 10 that a dude has a picture with a fish and I’ve never understood it.
- ” I’m *height* cause apparently that matters.”
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The insecurity from this is LOUD.
- “Just looking for someone to vibe/chill/hang with.”
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We all know what this really means, why bother pretending otherwise?
- Car pictures — especially if you’re not in them?
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Why would I want to see JUST your car?
- All the pictures are boomerangs
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This is just cringey. I have no other explanation.
- “Looking for the Pam to my Jim.”
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Where’s the flavor?
- “Cliboris”
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I think at least 50% of all the bios I see (and pickup lines I get) is “I got a B+ in Human Sexuality in college, so let’s just say I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes* cliboris.” It was only kinda funny the first 17 times.
- “Bios aren’t my thing/I suck at bios.”
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Did you even attempt to try?
- “Need someone to show me around.”
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No you don’t. You’re not on Tinder for a tour guide.
- Pictures with dead animals
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EW.
- “More fun than your ex.”
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I mean, you’re probably right, but how would you know?
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“I probably won’t like you.”
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Seriously? This is what you’re going with?
- Using your dog to gain my sympathy
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It only works some of the time.
- Putting pictures from high school graduation when you’re literally 23
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You haven’t taken any other good pictures since you were 18?
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The only pictures are group pictures
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I’m tired of trying to determine which one is which based on the vibes of the bio.
- Using memes instead of actual photos
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It’s not as funny as you think it is.
- On/holding a skateboard
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I don’t know how to explain it, but skateboarding just feels like a red flag.
- “Swipe left if you can’t take a joke.”
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This is just code for “I have a really offensive sense of humor and don’t want someone who will call me out on it.”
- Pictures with other girls (?????)
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This makes NO sense whatsoever.
- “Let’s just have a real conversation.”
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You can just say you’re insecure and move on.
If you’ve used any of these, I kindly beg you to reconsider, because I promise you at least 10 other guys have the exact same thing.