I Rewatched the Twilight Saga and Here Are My Thoughts

As we are currently in the “Twilight Renaissance” where everyone is rewatching these movies, I took some time before being sent home for quarantine to rewatch The Twilight Saga in its entirety. Since I hadn’t seen these movies in a while, I had forgotten some details about them that I noticed within a second while watching as an adult. Here’s what I thought while rewatching these iconic films that shaped some of our childhoods. 

Twilight (2008)

Starting us off, this film has a lovely blue tone to the camera, and I really didn’t know what they were going for with it, but it gives it a vintage look that makes me nostalgic about rewatching it.

I found it strange that as soon as Bella got to her new school, everyone was fighting to be her friend. This definitely gave other people, and myself, unrealistic expectations about what starting at a new school was like. This movie also made me so aware of my own breathing with the amount of silent, intense stares throughout.

At the beginning of this movie, Edward was giving us some strong toxic male energy (mmm perfect romantic interest) with iconic quotes such as, “Bella, you hit your head. I think you’re confused,” and “Nobody’s going to believe you.” Ah yes, gaslighting is so sexy.

Also, I’d love to note how the hair in this movie is especially terrible. The hair team must have hated everyone working on this film. I do think it is important to comment on the leggings under Bella’s prom dress. Who thought that was a good idea? Someone really thought, “ahh yes, for the *quirky* lead let’s put Capri leggings underneath her dress, perfect."

Finally, bless Charlie. He is honestly the best and, personally, my favorite character. After all, he is super protective because he kinda knows what kind of hinky stuff Edward could be up to. He’s doing his best, and we love him for it. The best line, I think, in this entire film is when they are about to leave for the prom, and Charlie rebuts to Edward, saying he’ll take care of Bella. Charlie says, “Uh-huh. I’ve heard that before. Uh Bells, I put a new can of pepper spray in your bag.” I wheezed uncontrollably.

Overall, this movie still holds up for the most part. Though a little dated in the fashion and hair choices, I don’t think it deserved the amount of hate it has received over the years. 

New Moon (2009)

Okay, New Moon, new color filters, and new hair choices by the hair and makeup are a nice change, but unfortunately for Ashley Greene, not anywhere near an improvement.

We love the totally relatable moment of Bella getting a paper cut so bad that she needs stitches because she is *so clumsy* and getting thrown into a table, making the cut worse while her boyfriend’s siblings decide who gets to eat her first...family dinners, am I right?

Edward’s big dramatic moment of him making his family relocate is low-key underwhelming. “This is the last time you’ll ever see me.” WE KNOW THAT ISN’T TRUE, THERE ARE FOUR BOOKS! Edward honey, you may want to see a therapist about your commitment issues because making your family move and cancel their email is a little extreme in any circumstances.

I get that Bella is supposed to be basically paralyzed without Eddie, but I think this is a totally normal response for a breakup. Also, why is the shirtless and jorts combo never addressed or explained to either Bella or the audience, like this is just standard stuff to run around with your bros like that. Even with Jacob’s shirtless-jorts choice, he still gets a “close friend, nice guy, friend zone” archetype, which is a little frustrating.

The Romeo and Juliet thing, in the beginning, was foreshadowing? This is really subtle; it’s one of those things you don’t know to look for, but once you see it, it’s screaming it at you with how obvious it is.

Overall, this one was really problematic in its methods for Jacob’s character development and seemed like it was a slow-going then sudden race to the finish as Bella somehow appeared in Italy from Washington? Like, what airline did she use? 

Eclipse (2010)

Movie three, halfway there, this one opens with Victoria from the first movie creating a “newborn army” in revenge against Edward for killing James. This movie stays promoting toxic relationships. This franchise is full of TOXIC MALES, breaking Bella’s truck so she can’t see another guy, their love remains a healthy one for sure. The only redeemable man in this franchise is Charlie.

I think the worst quotes from this movie are a tie between “Feel that? Flesh,” and “And let’s face it, I am hotter than you.” Both from Jacob, the most toxic character in this franchise. They attempt to make him likable, but they seem to forget that abs are not a personality trait.

The plus side of this movie is that we get some nice Cullen backstories for Rosalie and Jasper, but unfortunately, they made a vampire we like a Confederate soldier, like come on, eating people? Fine. Racism? Less so.

Now back to the main plot: after hearing about this supposed rivalry between Edward and Jacob for the majority of the film, we end with the final battle between the newborns and wolves/Cullen power duo. Aww, they all come together to protect Bella from being mauled to bits, how sweet and romantic. To sum up, this is essentially a continuation of New Moon but worse because there is more toxic Jacob and a battle scene for a plotline that takes a backseat to the love triangle. So far, my least favorite.

Breaking Dawn: Part 1 (2011)

Big surprise, Bella and Edward are getting married, and Jacob throws a tantrum when he gets the wedding invitation, ruining a perfectly terrible pair of cargo shorts in the process. Bella’s wedding nightmare sequence is what I thought this saga was going to be when I first watched it, so I was thoroughly disappointed when it was more romance-oriented. After their honeymoon, it’s actually funny to find out Edward is crazy fertile despite being dead for over 100 years.

This whole franchise is other people making decisions about what is best for Bella, while the choices she tends to make mostly revolved around attempting to die to get her boyfriend’s attention or, ya know, the whole demon spawn thing.

Now back to our favorite show: Jacob throwing a tantrum; this time it’s the sequence of him being so committed to the friend zone that he’s willing to kill Bella’s baby until he inevitably falls in love with it, WHAT A HERO. WHAT A LOVE INTEREST. Ladies, if your man isn’t willing to bite your baby out of you, THAT MAN AIN’T WORTH YOUR TIME. The real message of this movie is that pregnancy is the worst. All that it shows is a pregnancy horror story.

All jokes aside, I think this one is the crown gem of the saga. A true journey from start to finish as the story develops kind of naturally where you think its gonna go, and then it goes the opposite direction. Definitely high up on the watch list. 

Breaking Dawn: Part 2 (2012)

Ok, this movie starts strong. We got Bella being a bad b*tch in a bronze smokey eye and tackling a mountain lion, yes this is what I came here for. What I did not come for is the green-screen baby we first see, and Jacob falling in love with the GREEN SCREEN BABY...WHAT?

I think this entire franchise would benefit from Bella kicking Emmett’s ass and trying not to eat her dad, iconic scenes that should go down in cinema history. Also, they bring in Rami Malek and other random characters I don’t have time to care about. But they do have WATER AND DIRT POWERS in this movie, which is so fun.

After four movies, I still have no idea how to pronounce the name of Michael Sheen’s character because every Cullen pronounces it differently, which is so annoying, like stick to one pronunciation, consistency, please. Michael Sheen’s evil laugh/giggle thing brings me so much joy. I love it so much. Almost as much as the intense violence that happens so quickly. It’s like someone asked, “how many beheadings you want?” and the producers just said, “YES.” Now that the battle is over and all your heads are gone, it was all just a dream inside of the snowglobe of Alice’s terrible haircut, how fun!

This movie is a close second to Part 1, but loses points for the green-screen baby and too many characters. But it holds up in its building suspense to the battle scene to end all battle scenes.