One of the worst things that can happen is when a favorite hobby becomes a source of stress. For me, it was writing and painting. I wanted to be good at it so badly that I stopped truly enjoying it. Everyday that passed that I didn’t sit and sketch or write an article, I would feel guilty, so much so that I started to avoid it all together. For any creative soul out there who is struggling with this, hear me now.
You don’t have to be the best at something to enjoy it. I know, radical thinking, right? But seriously, if you find joy in creative outlets, stop pressuring yourself. Your validation does not come from popularity.
I got into painting with my two best friends from high school, Emmy and Joanna. Now, they were crazy talented and had been painting for a lot longer than I had. And while I enjoyed hanging out with them, I always found myself comparing my skills, or lack thereof, to theirs. I continued to try and keep up with sketching here and there, but then I’d go on social media and see an art page, or just someone I knew would post their newest paintings and the comparison would ensue.
I stopped painting and drawing all together. I convinced myself that it wasn’t worth doing if everything I created, I ended up hating. Same went for my love of writing. I stopped writing stories and even private journaling. Coming to college and joining Her Campus and the school newspaper, Cisternyard Media, kind of brought me back into the swing of writing and gave me a new purpose. But with a new purpose, came a new audience. My private writings were only judged by me, but sharing my articles for everyone to see? Nerve-wracking to say the least.
I really struggled to find my voice and balance between the two different writing styles that Her Campus and the newspaper demanded of me. And while I think became a better writer, I started believing that I was running out of valuable opinions to say that people actually wanted to hear.
I came really close to giving up entirely. But with the new year, of course my mindset was to set some goals for 2020. I decided to let myself step back from art and writing until I was ready to accept it as my hobby again, not a chore that was expected of me.
To my fellow hobbyists, check in with yourself and make sure that your hobby is there for one purpose: to bring you comfort, peace, and a way to de-stress and express yourself. Find the balance for your life and enjoy it.