A few years back, I was dating this guy. I remember one thing he said to me that really bothers me to this day.
“You have a boyfriend, so you don’t need to be a feminist.”
I still think about what he meant by that. I’m assuming he meant, ‘you have a boyfriend so you don’t hate men.’ But why do people think that feminist = hating men?
Feminism, according to the definition, is the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. We just want equal rights.
Misandry, on the other hand, gets confused with Feminism for some reason. Misandry is the dislike, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice of men. Completely different ideology there.
I’ve had other men ask me, “what does your boyfriend think about you being a feminist?” like it’s some secret cult I’m participating in behind his back. It’s NOT like that. My boyfriend knows I’m a feminist, I’m passionate about Planned Parenthood, and overall, that I’m a progressive woman. We actually communicate in our relationship, so we know these things about each other.
He’s completely fine with me being a feminist. He knows that because I want equal rights, it’s okay to advocate for something I feel strongly about. He supports me.
Just because I’m a feminist, doesn’t mean I hate men. Have I had bad experiences with men? Yes, of course. But I’ve had bad experiences with other genders as well. It’s about who you are as a person, not what gender you identify as.
I’m a feminist because I want to be treated equally, I want to be paid what I’m worth in the workplace, and I want men and women to be treated equally in the justice system. Having a boyfriend shouldn’t have an effect on whether I’m a feminist or not.