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How to Lose a Guy Before Spring Break

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at C Mich chapter.

We’ve all seen the movie, “How to Lose a Guys in 10 Days,” and if you haven’t, it’s pretty much self-explanatory. Although this movie presents a “what not to do” perspective, it has a few decent pointers on trying to break it off with a certain someone, without hurting any feelings. Let’s be real though, no break-up situation goes with out feeling some type of way, but at least you could say you tried some preventative tactics.


In this case, we are talking about that college-style, senior year, “I’ll never be able to do this again” spring break. Wanting to be single during this time of year is not a bad thing, and it does not make you a bad person. What is so bad about wanting to spend time with your friends, doing exactly what you want to do, and not having a care in the world? Come on people, it’s only for a week, and we deserve to treat ourselves –and that’s exactly what we plan to do.


If you’re in a relationship, and it’s going on that two, three, or four year kick, you should try and find another article because that’s going to be more of a divorce, rather than a simple break up. This is for those of you who found the nerve to ask out that campus cutie around Halloween, and have kindled up some kind of flirtashionship throughout the holidays, and the past few months. At this point, you know a lot about this person, and heck, you probably met his family over winter break! You’re not a robot, and it’s obvious that you really care about him, and enjoy each other’s company, because you wouldn’t waste your time on just anybody. However, you and your friends have been scheming the spring break of a lifetime, and it’s weird, but it seems as if you’re the only one with the ball and chain right now. (Just kidding, we know you wouldn’t let anyone weigh you down!)


So, what are you going to do? The inner conflict going on inside your head is starting to show itself through the disguise of bickering and stupid fights –both of which, you do not even know how they started. There’s not a doubt in your mind that you would break up with someone over something as silly and menial as a weeklong spring break… or is there? Doubt can only mean one thing: it’s over before it started. As soon as you doubt, you start thinking of all the possibilities of something greater.


Why can’t it just be easy? All Shannon has to worry about is which bathing suit bottoms will match the top she just bought at Victoria’s Secret, and I’m over here planning the future of my life. If we break up, we won’t get married, if we don’t get married, I’ll be so depressed I can’t get a job, if I don’t get a job, I won’t meet anyone else, if I don’t meet anyone else, I won’t have kids, and if I don’t have kids, I HAVE ZERO WILL TO LIVE. (Okay, maybe not that dramatic). The point is, you create the difficulty of a situation in your head, and it isn’t all that hard. Once you’ve made your decision, stand by it, and go from there. If your guy isn’t happy with your decision, then he didn’t understand you and your feelings anyway.


How to lose a guy before spring break:

Spend time alone – no cell phone, no social media, become distant

It’s as easy as that, I promise. You won’t have the influence of your single friends who “just don’t understand,” and you won’t be up your boyfriend’s butt either. You will be able to sort out your thoughts and decide what it is that YOU want to do. (Not what your friends want, not what your boyfriend wants, and not what the future COULD be). The distance will show your guy that you’re not afraid to be alone, and that you’re more than willing to try it out, whether he likes it or not.


Go out with your friends, not with your boyfriend

Tell him your girls are missing you, and he should be catching up with his guys too. Trust me, your girl friends have been dying for you to do this ever since you met Mr. Not-So-Right. This doesn’t mean wine night and the Notebook. Your girls have been itching to finally have you for themselves; so sitting around is not an option, and you bet your bottom dollar there will be no texting of the BF. I’m talking grade A, “throwback freshman; don’t tell mom; I hope I don’t get arrested; why do I look so good; I have to pee; is this a basement or an underground European nightclub; we lost Sarah; I feel no pain; you are SO pretty; Gretchen is making out with someone; I AM HARRY POTTER; I just bought a ticket to France; my name is Pablo; let’s go swimming; you look like a tree; you’re in my English class; I dance like Beyonce; if you like pina coladas; YOUR MOM; I fell asleep in the bathtub,” kind of night. Then, do it again the next night. Your boyfriend will see that you’re more than capable of having the time of your life without him, and that maybe he’s been missing his bros as well.


Think of yourself first and always — Become obsessed with YOU

Instead of putting all of your attention on being thoughtful, making sure he knows you’re attentive, and the whole two-way communication thing, start turning the tables to throw him off a bit. This means you get to be that selfish, sassy diva that you’ve only dreamed of being, the one side of you that you only dare to show your parents. With this tactic, you are clearly putting yourself first, and showing him that this on/off relationship is just a second priority. To pull this off you are going to be using a lot of “I” statements –don’t confuse this with “I feel,” because we want him to know how it is, not just how you feel. For example, if he suggests the movies, “I’m not going to the movies, I’d rather go to spin class with Jessica.” Another diva move, which is perfectly aligned with the spring break movement, is to focus questions on how you look or how your new spring break diet has been working. Example, “Don’t I look great? I’ve been working out, and eating healthy for weeks, and it’s starting to pay off!” Say that a few times, and he will surely get the hint that you’re not into “us” anymore, you’re into you.


Never talk about feelings

If you have been, then stop. If you’ve even dropped the “I love you” bomb, then stop. If he brings up how he’s feeling towards you or if he wants to know how you’re feeling, avoid the conversation. We know you’ve maneuvered many conversations with mom and dad, so you can do it here too. Change the conversation, become suddenly busy, or say you don’t want to talk about it. Don’t be afraid to make it awkward, the simple, “I don’t want to talk about that,” will definitely give him the message. If he’s texting these things, maybe you just didn’t see the text or you never got it (who texts about that stuff anyway?). *If he’s not getting it and asks, “I just want to know how you feel,” try saying, “I honestly don’t really care about this.”


Have nothing to say

Make him figure out the conversation. One-worded answers or a couple of missed messages/phone calls every now and then will make him question the fit between you two.


Become mysterious

If you don’t have a password on your phone, get one. Leave the room when you get a call, and if you get a call when you’re with him, ALWAYS take it. Make all of your responses so vague that your 12-year-old sister or grandma could be using them as well. If you’re with a group of people, have side conversations and focus everything on your friends. Inside jokes are your new best friend, and your boyfriend is on the outside.


No more one-on-one time

Forget about dates or romantic gestures. Anything you two do now is a group activity with others. Always invite a friend or two to hang out with you guys, and say no to dates. “I don’t want to go out to eat, let’s hang out with Tara and Melissa.” Or if you want to make it awkward, say you’ll go out to eat and bring a friend without thinking to mention it. After all, it’s just friends hanging out right? You’re not excluding him entirely, but you’re letting him know your attention is not only on him.


Avoid any and all physical affection

If you’ve tried everything, and he still isn’t getting it –which is likely- avoid touching each other at all costs. If he sits on the couch, you sit in the chair. If he tries to hold your hand, act like you have to get something out of your purse –better yet, walk a foot away from him. If he leans in for a kiss, walk away and say you have to go to the bathroom. If he gets desperate and asks, “why don’t you want to hug?” Just say, “I don’t feel like it.”


Become weirdly interested in his best friends

I’m not saying to hook up with them, and if they were his real bros, they wouldn’t even dare. Find out random facts of information about them and constantly bring it up in conversation. “I can’t believe Derek was on varsity hockey all four years of high school,” “I knew Justin’s mom was a natural brunette,” “You didn’t tell me that Tom switched middle schools,” “Is Ryan interested in that girl he just added on Facebook?” Your boyfriend will probably start to think you’re creepy, and it will drive him crazy that you’re all of a sudden obsessed with his best friends.


Just say it

Boys will be boys, and frankly, they won’t get a clue unless you actually say it. If he asks you, and he will ask you, why you’ve been so weird lately, you will bluntly say, “I want to break up.” The reason being that you just don’t want a boyfriend right now; you’re young and beautiful! Spare his manhood and don’t get emotional, pretending that you’re sorry, and DO NOT say, “We can still be friends.” If it came to this, you’re more than likely fed up and annoyed with him. Anything that he says to you after the break up will just come off as clingy, so being friends is not an option right now. Trust me, he’s not just wondering how you’re doing (as thoughtful as it sounds), he really wants to pry his way back into your fabulous life. Who wouldn’t?