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9 Signs You’re Becoming an Adult

Because once you turn 21, stuff gets real, y’all.

1) Nights out no longer consist of a $13 fifth that is brought to a house party

They consist of $10 drinks at an overly expensive bar. You hear that? It’s the sound of my debit card weeping.

2) You can no longer consume 3,000 calories a day and not see any weight gain

Heck, you’re going to see weight gain if you dare to put peanut butter on your celery.

3) You talk about celebrities like you know them personally

“Have you heard any updates about Jennifer’s and Justin’s wedding? Have they set a date? It feels like they’ve been engaged foreeevvvverrr.” “I cannot believe Selena’s back with Justin. Does she not realize that relationship is toxic?”  

4)  You cannot log onto Facebook without seeing someone from your high school class getting engaged or expecting a baby

Wow, nice picture of your child’s nursery! Have you seen my picture of my college apartment with a whopping three pieces of furniture?

5) Friends encourage you to join Match.com

Can I actually enter “zero” under the income question?

6) “All nighters” consist of pounding three cups of coffee and still falling asleep by 1 am

Thanks so much, $7 Starbucks coffee. You’ve really made a difference tonight.

7) Saying you’re single at a family party actually evokes pity from your relatives

“You don’t have a boyfriend? That’s okay honey! It will happen when you least expect it” *insert sympathetic wink from Aunt Donna*

8) You can no longer stomach cheap alcohol

Yes, that brand is only $9, but if I spend $20 on a better brand, I can actually get out of bed tomorrow — and that is truly priceless.

9) Having to actually plan your future instead of just daydreaming about it

HMM… I actually don’t know if winning a Grammy does fit into my five-year plan.

Yes, life is becoming a little more serious, but with the stresses of adulthood come even better times ahead.

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