Hello and welcome to: I have more medical problems than my 100 year old great-grandmother. (Yes, my great-grandmother is 100 years old. Her name is Elva and she’s one kick ass old lady).
For those of you who don’t know, I am, in fact, a walking medical disaster. I’ve had my fair share of heart surgeries before I turned two. I have celiac disease, thyroid problems, anxiety,ADHD, type I diabetes, and I’ve deadass had six oral surgeries.. The list goes on and on, but today I’ll just complain to you about one of these disasters: diabetes.
I’ll give you a little bit of background before I hop on the complain train (I just came up with that now and I’m in love with it).
Okay, I was diagnosed with diabetes when I was three years old. I don’t remember life without it. I grew up giving myself shots and counting my carbs. I’m pretty sure I knew more about nutrition at the age of five than most people ever will their entire life. I’m gonna be straight with you. It really sucks, like really, really sucks to be a diabetic. I mean last week my insulin pump failed me and I threw up in the middle of class. I’m not kidding. I stood up, grabbed one of those small plastic trash cans by the door, turned to my professor and said, “I’m gonna borrow this, I’ll be back,” and left.
Also, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and my blood sugar will be so low that I sweat and shake and then have to sit and eat all the food humanly possible until I feel better.
So yeah, it’s kind of the worst. But hey, at least I’m not dying (that I know of).
LET THE COMPLAINING BEGIN!
1. We’re always stabbing ourselves with needles.
I typically test my blood sugar like 8 times a day. That’s 8 finger stabs. It’s also a good bit of blood. Diabetes is not for the squeamish.
2. We’re always giving ourselves insulin.
It doesn’t’t take that long to give yourself a quick dose of insulin, but you’ve still gotta whip out your pump, dial everything up, press okay, wait for the insulin to be delivered, and do the casual “this’ll only take a moment” thing.
3. Our lives revolve around food (literally).
Me the moment I start to feel my blood sugar dropping.
4. The doctor’s office is our second home.
I’m pretty sure I know my way around the hospital better than some of the doctors do.
5. The stereotyping gets real old real fast.
“So like do you have the fat people diabetes or the normal one?”
“Your parents must have fed you lots of sugar, right?”
6. Our parents were like super-helicopter parents.
My mom convinced herself she was going to come to college with me.
7. That stupid book about that diabetic kid that the school nurse would read to your class when you were 9.
Some kid would always raise their hand and ask if diabetes was contagious… I swear to God.
8. The constant awareness of everything you eat and how you feel.
We’re all really in touch with ourselves.
But hey, at least we can say we feel bad and get a cookie before dinner!
Stay sweet, pals (it’s funny ‘cus people think diabetics can’t have sugar and sugar is sweet and I said sweet. Hahaha, I’m funny).