I know it pales in comparison to the s#$%storm that is America right now, but the 2020 Vice Presidential Debate is on Wednesday. Would it be a gross exaggeration to say you are eagerly awaiting this televised event of the election season at the edge of your seat? Yes (sorry Mama Kamala). However, that doesn’t mean it isn’t worthy of your attention. The fact of the matter is, America is so deeply polarized right now that even the Presidential Debates don’t have a huge impact on the actual outcome of an election, let alone the Vice Presidential Debate. But, being the political junkie that I am, I can tell you exactly why it is that I love the VP Debates so much.
The whole concept is weird. It’s something we do on a formality in many ways, as it consists of two people not running for president debating presidential issues (??!!) that they probably won’t have a real say in legislation wise. The whole reason they’re on the stage in the first place is usually a political tactic on the part of the actual presidential candidate. The picking of a running mate has become a campaign move in many regards, so watching the debate is pretty similar to what I imagine two chess pieces trying to convince a bored moderator and the American public that their player is the best at the game. These debates are often much less dramatic because the stakes are far lower, and usually, the candidates in them are more subdued. After all, they didn’t win the nomination, so their ability to galvanize a crowd is most likely not as strong as that of their running-mate (sue me).
However, this doesn’t mean the VP Debates aren’t full of complete GEMS. Take, for example, the fever dream that was Sarah Palin’s entire political platform, or more pertinent to this election, a very confused Joe Biden talking himself into a hole of why he doesn’t support marriage equality, only for Obama to denounce this the next day on twitter. Or, most memorably, Lloyd Bentsen flat out ROASTING Dan Quayle in 1988 (just do yourself a favor and watch the clip).
From what we have seen of Pence in his last debate with the ever joyful, very forgettable Tim Kaine in 2016, he is as spicy as a piece of buttered wonder bread. Allow me to put it candidly: my Zoom breakout room after nobody did the reading is more exciting than Mike Pence during a debate. His strategy is essentially bobin’ and weavin’ his head to increasingly vague answers and not really responding to any of the digs made by the opponent. I genuinely can’t tell sometimes if he’s nodding in disagreement at his own statements. And weirdly enough, he’s not really part of Trump’s ticket. He’s been creepily irrelevant through the past four years, even for a Vice President, who usually isn’t the center of attention anyway. Pence is aggressively out of the spotlight, and quite honestly I forget he exists until I remember something about conversion therapy and…oh right, someone that donated to a known conversion therapy program could potentially become the leader of the free world should Trump bite it because he refuses to wear a mask despite this on-going pandemic.
Kamala Harris on the other hand definitely has some spice. As Maya Rudolph put it in her first SNL Cold Open portraying the California senator, she’s your “funt” (fun aunt). I feel pretty optimistic that she will smoke him this week sheerly because she has a platform. Maybe we will even get a quality roast in. Either way, I will definitely be tweeting from my couch about how much I wish I could just smack Pence in the face to see if he would blink.
So, are you gonna tune in this Wednesday? I hope you do. But even if you don’t, make sure you check your voter registration status and get your absentee ballot!