Recently, I have decided to start listening to podcasts. I feel like I have been missing out, there are so many things that I’m interested in that I would love to explore in my free time. The cool thing about podcasts is that you can listen to them as you are doing other things, like writing an assignment *sometimes*, doing chores, or taking a walk. One of the first podcasts I took up was Emma Chamberlain’s podcast, Anything Goes, where she literally explores anything, from hardships that she experiences, to personal experiences and crazy stories that are usually relatable, funny, and definitely entertaining. Since I started the podcast, one of my favorite episodes has to be the one on relationships, and here are a few reasons why.
- do you need a relationship?
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One of the first things Emma spoke about was the pressure to be in a relationship from high school onward, and this is a struggle that many of us have had to go through. “Everyone told me too like there’s no rush. But I felt like I was missing out on something.” When it comes to being in a relationship, especially in our world where we see them everywhere, in real life, romanticized in social media, etc., you definitely begin to question yourself and wonder why you can’t get in one yourself. There have been many TikTok videos that I have seen that enforce this collective insecurity that we have. Why are we in college and not finding that college love that people talk about? How do you get in a relationship at school? Why aren’t I in a relationship yet? We all go through this stage, it’s not specific to any specific walk of life. The answer to the question is no, you don’t need to be in a relationship. There is no harm in exploring the field because then you will have more of an understanding of who you like and if you’re ready. Emma and I can both agree that the best advice is to make sure that you are emotionally ready and mature to commit to someone. Don’t let social media or anything else pressure you into doing something that you may just not be ready for. Move at your own pace and things will fall into place.
- “Being friends before your date is Huge”
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Another great point that Emma made is that being friends with your partner before dating them makes a complete difference, and I 100% agree. From personal experience, I can definitely attest that when you transition into a relationship with someone you were friends (or sometimes even best friends) with can be a better experience than someone you kind of just jumped into a relationship with. This may not be the case for everyone, but in most cases, it tends to be true. Emma hit the nail on the head with why she felt this way, especially when explaining that it can be a much smoother transition, since there are many things that you go into the relationship knowing, like their personality, having a good sense of how they deal with certain situations, and just a level of comfort that you are building on that you don’t necessarily get if you didn’t know them/weren’t close to them prior to your relationship. Emma’s dad would recommend that before you get in a relationship, you date the person for 3 months and use that to decide whether or not a relationship is a route you want to take. Make sure you take the time and make a decision that is right for you :)
- stay true to you!
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Another part of the podcast that really resonated with me, especially in relation to what we see on social media and when it comes to relationships I have seen and been around in my own life is when Emma spoke about how getting wrapped up in a relationship can sometimes cause people to lose their sense of self. When you’re young and new to relationships, it’s easy to be obsessed with your partner in a sense, where you want to be around them all the time, you’re super in love, and you devote a lot of time to them, whether it’s thinking about them to actually spending time with them constantly. Emma highlighted some very important points, such as the fact that when you are in a relationship, especially when it is long term, the person that you are dating can affect many aspects of your life, “their communication with you and the way that they behave towards you starts to directly affect your emotions.” She emphasizes the importance of not putting the same time and energy you put into your significant other is the same amount of time and energy you put into yourself. This is important because if you don’t and you end up separating from your partner, you would definitely be bummed out and sad, but it won’t feel like you are lost, have no idea what to do, or that you lost a piece of yourself. At the end of the day, you and the way you live your life should bring you happiness, your happiness should not be dependent on anyone else but you.
Some of the key takeaways are to ensure that you are fulfilling your needs and interests and to live life to your own standards, at your own pace. Don’t let anyone dictate when and how you should go about any aspect of your life, be your own source of happiness, and find someone who builds on it, not take away from it. There are so many other amazing points that Emma brings up in this podcast and I would 100% recommend giving this episode (and all her other episodes!) a listen.