As an International Student, I love talking about my country and its culture. Ask me one question about my country, and I will likely ramble on about it in such detail that you will inevitably regret your inquiry– an experience I’m sure most international students have had. However, non-international students oftentimes make comments or slurs that are offensive to international students’ cultures. It is very important to be mindful of the fact that what may seem like an innocent or harmless statement can actually be taken the wrong way.
Below are the things I feel should never be said to an international student, from the perspective of an international student herself.
1. “Oh my Gosh, you sound just like _______!”
Every country has a token representative that is in the public eye. This means that when you meet someone from that country, you might immediately associate them with that famous (or infamous) person. For instance, Heidi Klum is very often noted for her German accent, as well as Sofia Vergara Colombian accent. That being said, it can be annoying to be told that you sound like someone simply because you happen to come from the same country. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been told I sound like Rihanna when I actually sound nothing like her. That would be like me telling you that you sound like Oprah or Brad Pitt because you are American; or telling a Brit they sound like the Queen; it’s a generalization, and it is also inevitable if you’re both native to a particular country.
2. “I don’t have an accent, you do.”
Everyone has an accent–yes, even Americans. If you place a person from their native country and put them in a foreign one, they are bound to sound different when they speak. This explains why a Russian student would sound distinctly different when in New York for example. Although this seems like a fairly elementary concept, I’ve met quite a few people who firmly believe that they do not have an accent and that I “just sound weird.” Everyone has an accent, even if you might not be able to recognize your own. Singling out someone for sounding “weird” when they speak can be very offensive.
3. “Say something in your language!”
It is one thing if you are studying a language and you want a native speaker to practice with you, or if you’d like to learn a word or two in another language. However, it’s another thing to demand that someone speak to you in “their language.” This can come across as condescending, and a lot of bilingual people do not appreciate being made to feel like they are on display or a source of entertainment. The same thing goes for accents. As international students, we acknowledge that we say certain words differently and you might find it funny. Nevertheless, calling all of your friends over to gather around and hear how I say “mayonnaise” is not polite (or cute).
4. “Wait, let me guess where you are from….”
If you are ninety nine percent sure that you know where a person is from, whether it be because you’re familiar with their accent or you have visited their home country, then feel free to go ahead and guess. However, if you have any doubt in your mind, my advice is to NOT ask. You might think a person is from China when they are actually from Taiwan, or that they are British when they’re really from Ireland– In which case, your assumptions are just going to offend the person. Just because two countries may share similarities in appearance or dialect, it is ignorant to assume that they can be grouped into one nationality. Similarly, assuming you know where someone’s native country is can also be ignorant. To say “Nicaragua? That’s part of Mexico right?” is not only incorrect, but basically equivalent to asking American’s if their country is a part of Canada.
5. Voicing any generalizations you might have heard about a particular country.
Bear in mind that the media’s portrayal of foreign countries tend to depict national extremes. Everywhere in Italy is not expensive and chic, and everywhere in Africa is not impoverished and undeveloped; everyone from Ireland does not necessarily drink, and everyone from Jamaica doesn’t necessarily smoke. As a general rule, making generalizations about a country is usually a bad idea. Generalizations about a country or its culture do not account for the diversity of people, and can therefore easily offend someone. For example, I know a girl from Ghana who recently told me that someone asked her how she could afford to go to school in the United States if she was from Africa–do I even need to explain how offensive that is?
Ultimately, it is not so much what you ask, but how you ask it. Just make sure you’re asking questions in a thoughtful way. Boston University is a melting pot for diversity, and the opportunities to meet people of different cultures are endless. Students should take advantage of the plethora of nationalities represented at BU and learn about the ethnic background’s of their peers. In taking the time to cultivate your understanding of the different cultures represented at BU, you are able to abandon pre-conceived notions you may hold and take the chance to develop a more global understanding. You’ll probably be really surprised at what you discover.