“Trust the process.”
That’s the first sentence you’ll hear when you start formal sorority recruitment — it’ll be repeated to you dozens if not hundreds of times over the course of the next four days.
Truth is, the process might leave you with 150 sisters to run home to, or it might leave feeling absolutely confused and powerless. And that’s something international students dreaming of a home away from home may not be prepared for.
Greek life has so much to offer: lifelong friends and bridesmaids, a community that may make a big campus feel smaller, and amazing philanthropies that sisters can fundraise for. Also, the chants! They are so much fun and I personally love them. But to get into Greek life and pledge in the first place, international PNMs (Potential New Members) may face additional obstacles than their American friends.
As soon as you enroll in formal recruitment, you will be overflowed with the amount of information you need to know to understand Greek life and to have a successful experience. Whether that information relates to the names and values of each chapter, their respective membership fees, the way “parties” and “mutual selection” work, and so on.
And then, it’s showtime! And by showtime, I mean shiny outfits, catchy chants, dozens of conversations for hours on end. This is where it gets more complicated. You can imagine that if it is hard for American students to hear what sisters are saying during each party, international students for whom English isn’t their first language often have no idea what’s going on. Trying to pick up fragments of words in a foreign language in a room full of 50 women chanting is quite a daunting task. Believe it or not, this actually does have a very tangible impact on the quality of the conversations you have. 10 conversations with 30 sisters in one day with short breaks make for a dizzy PNM regardless of where we come from, but not understanding every social norm or pop culture reference that comes with these conversations… That’s the cherry on top of an already very heavy cake.
If you do get lucky and are extended a bid (a formal invitation to join your school’s chapter of one sorority), the new member process can also be more difficult than fun, simply because discovering all the rules of the Greek system on top of meeting a hundred new people is a bit overwhelming. In addition to that, family members and friends back home might not understand your decision to join Greek life, mainly because they have no idea what it entails. Without a strong support system, the recruitment and pledging process are bound to be more intimidating. Like with many college experiences as an international student, you’re 100% on your own. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
To be an international student is to be a trailblazer. Surviving the recruitment process is in itself an immense victory that not all get to experience. As for me, however, I still can’t help but wonder if having no language and social norms barriers, a better understanding of the formal agreements I had signed, and a mom to call on the phone when I was struggling with life-changing decisions would have made a difference.
I truly hope that with this article, members of Greek life at BU will understand better why some international PNMs may struggle a little more with the recruitment process. While meeting people from other backgrounds is incredibly fun, it takes a lot to open your heart to a stranger in 15 minutes when you come from a culture that prides itself on taking friendships slowly.
To all the international students considering sorority recruitment: go for it. It’s an experience unlike any other that you should explore if you feel drawn to it. However, be kind to yourself and find all the information that you can about the process so that you can get there knowing what will happen and trusting that you are just as beautiful a person with or without your dream bid. At the end of the day, you’re getting a degree thousands of miles away from home, overcoming a plethora of cultural obstacles, participating in campus activities, and putting yourself out there. Recognize how much courage and effort that takes and don’t be too hard on yourself. Love, Ariane.
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