In my last entry, I cautioned being hasty when reentering intimate relationships that have, perhaps, not ended well first time around. Further elaboration was promised, so here we go. First of all, there are a number of reasons you should not be so quick to jump back into the ring after taking an emotional beating and getting back up. Recovering from an emotionally stressful period of time is no easy task. Furthermore, you must remind yourself of the things that went wrong in the first place, thus causing the afflictions that ultimately ended your relationship. That right there is probably the most important step when reviving a past fling. If you can revisit the most painful moments of your failed relationship, and find that you are emotionally stable enough to move forward without the risk of being hurt again, then by all means take your chances.
Another good reason not to jump the gun is that, although they may seem astonishingly convincing, the person you are dealing with may not have changed a bit. Nope, not even a tiny bit. Surprise! In essence, why would you want to situate yourself right back in the same rut you so valiantly climbed out of? I have your answers, ladies and gentlemen… you don’t! Plain and simple. If you feel like the person in front of you has in no way shape or form evolved into something worth an iota of your time, politely excuse yourself from their presence and internally applaud yourself for having avoided a catastrophe. One of the keys to reconciliation between those whose relationship has deteriorated (or in some cases, completely gone up in smoke) is self-betterment. On both parts. Yes, that means you too. But remember, this is what you’ve gained from all of the turmoil; so don’t take it as a negative. My point being, if one or neither of you has learned anything about you as individuals as well as a whole, then there isn’t anything to be gained, is there? Think about it. We played with this idea in my last post, and hopefully this is starting to sink in a bit.
Now that we’ve gone over the reasons why being careless, on any level, when dealing with exes can be so dangerous, let us focus a bit more on how this can not only negatively affect you as an emotionally rehabilitated individual, but how it can (and so definitely will) affect those around you. Since the breakup, I am assuming you have rekindled strained friendships, made new ones and perhaps even sparked a new “interest”, however serious or fleeting. These are important relationships too! Do not just discount them as simply having grown due to the fact that you might assume they are byproducts of your failed relationship. These subsequent bonds are meaningful, and symbolize all of the progress you have made. Do not be surprised when many, if not all, of your friends think you are absolutely out of your mind for even acknowledging jerk-face again. Do yourself a favor and listen to them because, chances are, they once again have the objective insight that you may be lacking. In short, remember all of the progress you’ve made (if you’re pretty and you know it- flip your hair), take extreme caution when dealing with the has-been, and value your current relationships.