Yes, we all know long-distance relationships suck. I am not here to dispute that (trust me), but what I am trying to do is show that they aren’t the worst thing that could ever happen. In fact, in many ways, long-distance relationships can actually be the best thing to happen to your relationship! Being in a long-distance relationship is a sign of commitment and strength, and surviving a long-distance relationship deserves a badge of honor– so to all my long-distance lovers who need a little pick-me-up, here is a reminder that it isn’t all bad, and there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel.
1. You get to grow as individuals Being in a long-distance relationship is different in the sense that you and your partner are forced to experience things separately. While that may feel pretty sucky at times, it can also be a really good thing. I’ve read that our 20s are our selfish years–and while I’m not sure I agree with that entirely, it certainly makes sense. Let’s face it, you’re at college to explore who you are and what you want out of life, and that is something you need to do on your own. The benefit of a long-distance relationship is that you are able to do this self exploration and still have someone there to support and experience the journey with you without directly being a part of that journey! That’s important because at the end of the day it’s your journey, not your significant other’s. It means that when it is all said and done and the distance finally comes to an end, both of you will be two whole, fully realized individuals. It means you both have been able to travel separate paths of self growth, and as a result, will be better equipped to start a new path together.
2. Friendships become really important It’s very tempting to let a relationship consume you, especially in the early stages of it. However, you should never let any one person become your entire world. You know that girl that used to be your friend but then she got a boyfriend and now you never see her? Right, well you don’t want to be that girl; no one wants to be that girl. In a long-distance relationship, there is very little chance for you to become that girl, simply because you and your significant other can’t physically be together constantly. This means that you are able to make very strong and long lasting bonds with people that you otherwise may not have been able to do. You get to have that experience of party-hopping from crappy frat party to crappy frat party when you otherwise may have just chosen to stay home and watch Netflix with your guy. You get the chance to create beautiful, strong relationships with your girlfriends that will last you long after graduation–and that’s important because while boyfriends are amazing, there are times when what you really need is a girlfriend.
3. Communication improves 100%For me, communication is one of the pillars of a strong relationship and I feel many couples underestimate the importance of it. With long-distance relationships, communication doesn’t just improve; it becomes vital to the survival of your relationship because it’s basically all you have (literally, Skype will become your BFF). The minor things that happen during your day become huge, significant things that you can’t wait to tell your guy and that “Good Morning” text becomes 10 times more special. It also means that when you’re upset, you are forced to express your feelings– you can’t just sit there sulking and expect your other half to pick up on it because, come on, passive aggression doesn’t necessarily work that well when your miles apart. If you need any more convincing, there is even scientific proof as a study in the Journal of Communication stated, that people in long-distance relationships “often have stronger bonds from more constant and deeper communication than normal relationships.”
4. You learn to trustYou might think you know about trust, but believe me when I say that your trust will never be tested more than when in a long-distance relationship. Imagination can be a crazy thing when you’re in a long distance relationship; you may start to over-analyze every aspect of your relationship, from the current whereabouts of your significant other to what that last text really meant. You may create irrational scenarios in your head that have zero basis in real life. However, the truth is that if you want your relationship to succeed, you have to decide very early on whether you trust your sweety. If you are able to, then you need to commit yourself 100 percent to that trust. That means that when your boyfriend says he’s “chilling with the boys” or that his study partner is “just a friend,” you have to trust that he’s being honest with you. Now I’m not saying you have to be naïve, but you certainly have to believe in your partner and they need to believe in you, otherwise the relationship is doomed.
5. You both put in more effortThe mere fact that you have agreed to a long-distance relationship means that you both see the potential for a real future together, otherwise you wouldn’t be putting yourself through it. As a result, it is a sign that you are both committed to trying to make things work. You become more sensitive towards your significant other’s feelings, you are more willing to work through any problems and tend to go the extra mile for them. All these things are important in any relationship, but you will find that they manifest themselves more when it’s a long-distance one. Skype dates, care packages and love letters all become staples of your relationship and as a result you become that much more connected. The effort that you both put in to make the best of your situation translates into a stronger relationship, which is never a bad thing.
6. Nothing is better than finally reunitingEverything feels brand new when you’re finally reunited after being apart for a while. It’s as though you are meeting each other for the first time and it’s fresh and exciting and wonderful, and the best part is that this feeling never fades. The excitement when your countdown reaches single digits, the feeling of anticipation when you are minutes away from seeing each other, the warmth that spreads through you in that first hug; it all feels the same, but incredibly wonderful, every single time. It will never get old–in fact, I think it might even getter better with age. When you first lay eyes on them at the arrivals gate or in that busy train station, that mixture of happiness, relief, nervousness and excitement is possibly one of the best feelings ever and not everyone gets to experience it. It’s that feeling that makes the lonely nights that much more bearable and the reunion that much sweeter; it makes the distance worth it.