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Wellness > Mental Health

How To: Long Distance Friendships

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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

So you’ve found yourself hundreds of miles away from your twin flame. Now what? A quick Google search yields only advice for those dating long distance, but what about the friendships that have carried you through the good and bad? 

No need to worry! While keeping up with old friends can seem daunting now that the usual activities you would share are unavailable, long-distance friendships can be maintained and open up even more ways for the relationships with your far-away friends to grow. 

Keep in mind … you’ll develop new friendships and contact with the older ones will decrease. It doesn’t mean that you’re any less important to your older friendships! The relationship may change, but not necessarily end. Don’t be afraid of this change! One of the great things about being in a new setting, like moving for college, a job, or family, is the individual growth that you’ll both go through. Seeing your friends become more comfortable in themselves as you check in with them is one of the happy perks of infrequent contact. 

Calling

Facetime and other calls are my personal go-to when I’m missing my friends. There’s so much that is communicated with just a simile. Video chats can be through Facetime, Google Duo, or if you’re craving a larger screen, try Zoom (not just for classes)! Spontaneous or planned calls are the most direct way to talk and get that personal connection. If you’re hesitant, let me assure you that if you’re missing your friend, your friend is probably missing you too and would welcome a chat. The intimacy of video calls mimics physically hanging out with each other. Phone calls can provide a sense of normalcy since you’ll get to hear a friend’s voice!

Using apps

Let technology work for you! One gem is the Cappuccino App, a platform that is designed for groups to leave “beans”, aka mini-self recorded podcasts, for each other. The app automatically adds its own intro and outro music so all you have to do is press record and start talking. Although we often didn’t have time for calls, hearing my friends’ voices made me feel like I was right back at home with them. A nice touch is that the app also provides prompts to start the conversation if you’re unsure of what to monologue about. 
For those more activity-oriented, the Pepper App is also great. Pepper allows everyone to upload their own recipes on the app, with instructions and pictures. If you and your friends rave about The Great British Baking Show and Gordon Ramsey, you can make a cookbook from your own kitchen — from Boston to Los Angeles. 

Keep Momentos Around

Having physical reminders nearby is great for keeping a connection alive when managing distance. Photos, though basic, are truly a powerful tool for this purpose. Be creative! Hang them from string lights, get a classy picture frame, or just keep them nearby. If your friends are artists, putting up some of their work in your room is a subtle way to keep them present while showing off your friends’ artistic skills as well. If you both share a love of movies, games, or music, that can manifest as decorative posters with a special touch. 

A wise Girl Scout once said, “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” I think they’re both gold, but it’s a fun tune and the point stands.

Add something special to your long-distance friendships, and you can keep in touch in so many ways!

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Amanda Buettner is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences at BU. She is studying history and French, and in her free time she loves to be active and find new bubble tea spots.