I want to start off by saying that I am not a love expert, nor am I a relationship guru. I don’t know everything about love and I’m not claiming to. That aside, everyone has those moments in a relationship where they look at their partner and think, “is this who I’m supposed to be with?”
I know we all wish there was a formula that we could look at that would tell us the answer. There isn’t. Love is not the same for everybody so a one-size-fits-all way of figuring it out would definitely not work. However, that doesn’t mean there have not been a few indicators that have helped me along the way and might help you too.
My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, which comes with its difficulties, but that doesn’t take away from how strongly we feel about each other. It wasn’t like the movies; there was no one moment where I knew. It developed over time with every text, talk, glance, and moment we exchanged.
The Little Things
Like I said, this won’t be the same for every relationship, but I think it can say a lot about who you are, who your S.O. is, and how both of you are as a couple.
Although huge gestures are great and should be wholeheartedly appreciated, sometimes it’s the smallest things that can show how much you care for each other.
For example, when I visited my BF at his college, he woke up early to go to the gym and while I was still sleeping, he left cereal and milk by the bed and kissed me on the forehead before heading out. Along the same lines, when we were walking outside in freezing weather, I gave him one of my gloves to wear so we could hold hands but still stay warm.
It’s these small gestures that can sometimes be the most indicative of how you or your partner truly feels. These kindnesses don’t have to be frequent, but if your S.O. takes extra time to demonstrate their love in the most basic way, they have a good heart and you should recognize that.
Good Morning, Good Night, Hello, Goodbye
Words can hold a lot of meaning and play a huge role in how you feel. It may seem either silly or ridiculous to put an emphasis on such a mundane task, but I believe that upholding this routine can greatly impact a relationship. Something as simple as a good morning text from my boyfriend can instantly brighten my spirits, and it has become almost a crucial part of my morning routine.
Knowing that your S.O. is thinking of you first thing in the morning and last thing at night is comforting and can help make you feel secure in your relationship. This tip is especially important if you and your S.O. have a fight; it reminds them that the argument is temporary and you still care about their fundamental wellbeing even if you are currently upset.
I realized how significant a simple goodbye was when my boyfriend and I hung up on FaceTime without completing our usual routine of waves and air kisses. Both of us felt as if something weren’t right. He called me back right away and we said goodbye, the right way this time; I could tell that little action had a greater impact than both of us could comprehend in that moment.
Happiness
Now, this is probably this most fundamental and the most important thing to ask yourself when in a relationship: Does this person make you happy? Of course, there will be moments where you aren’t, but I’m talking about a general feeling of happiness that can be directly attributed to this person. It makes the biggest difference if you have somebody by your side that strives to make you feel loved and supported.
My mom always tells me, “Don’t let anyone take away your happiness.” Of course, I’m biased because she is my mom, but I think it’s a really good mantra to live by. I know from the little experience I have with love, it can manifest itself in different ways but it will make your life better and more joyous.
Everyone has his or her bad days, but every day with my boyfriend is a good one. Even when I’m down, he knows how to make me smile, just with a look or some funny gif from our favorite show. The best feeling is when he calls me in the middle of the day, out of the blue, just to say hi. I’m at my happiest when I’m walking down Commonwealth Avenue just talking to him and smiling like an idiot because I physically can’t contain my elation any longer.
Now I realize that some of these things may seem silly or unimportant, but I can’t stress enough that a good relationship (or anything in life really) is built on a strong foundation: one established by every gesture; big or small. Yes, I still don’t know a lot, but if it works for buildings, shouldn’t it apply to relationships too?
It’s February, the perfect month to go celebrate love! But don’t just focus on Valentine’s Day—focus on every day.
Cover photo credit: NPR
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