One of the biggest things college freshman fear upon entering college is the always-infamous freshman 15. Even if you’re not a first-year student, messed up sleeping habits, buffet-style dining halls, and convenient convenience store food can still get you. Here are some fool-proof ways to ensure you’ll pack a few pounds:
1. You know that cool little thing called Late Nite? You should go to it. Every time you’re studying into the wee hours of the night. Maybe even when you’re not studying. Maybe one day you’re going to be bored in your room and can’t think of anything better to do: go then. Maybe one day you’ll wake up in the middle of the night with a barely-there hunger pang. Ignore the fatigue weighing down on you, gluing you to your sheets. Go get a quesadilla.
2. Really take advantage of that buffet in the dining hall. I mean, it is unlimited right? You should go back for seconds. And then thirds. Maybe fourths? You’re not hungry? Who cares, just keep eating anyways.
3. You probably shouldn’t sleep if you’re trying to gain the freshman 15. Sleeping just speeds up your metabolism. Also, if you’re sleeping, how can you go to Late Nite Café? Staying up late trying to cram for that big tests will give you more opportunities to snack. If you’re not struggling to keep your eyes open, why would you need to put more junk in your body?
4. You know how BU has that gorgeous fit-rec, right? You should pretend it isn’t there. It’s really nice, spacey, and air-conditioned, and completely free for full-time students…but still. Just ignore it. Don’t ever step foot in it.
5. Sargent Choice Shmargent Choice. Health food is for losers.
6. Beer is fantastic. You should drink a lot of it. It’s also rich in calories. Who doesn’t want a nice little beer gut to come in just in time for Spring Break?
7. Eat your feelings. When you get stressed for a test, you should buy tortilla chips and salsa. If you’re feeling homesick, cookies are the way to go. And if you’re hitting a lull in your dating life, Ben & Jerry will be your men.
It is easy to fall into unhealthy habits while living the life of a busy, stressed-out college student. Of course partaking in these habits every once in a while is just fine. But maybe you shouldn’t employ all of the rules listed above on a regular basis.