How To Deal With Loneliness in College

I’m wrapping up my second year of college in the coming weeks, and I have done a lot of reflecting over how these past years have gone.

College is amazing and rejuvenating. It is both exhausting and exhilarating. Sometimes I find myself in the middle of it all, thinking to myself, "wow." I am a little fish in a big sea. Like a small butterfly in a vast jungle. And that is one heck of a lonely feeling.



I am the middle child with one older sister and one younger sister. I shared a room with my younger sister from her birth all the way until my junior year of high school.

My comfortability level is when I am around my people. And I don’t think this is uncommon.

However, coming to college is a time when you’re basically thrown into a mixture of thousands of people, where, if you’re like me, you won’t know a single soul.

So, how do you deal with this? Well, I can explain it as realistically as possible; how I have coped, and am still coping with loneliness.


First, I always confront the feeling. I find that at the root of my loneliness is usually sadness, anxiety, or maybe even fear. I take a moment for myself and really just approach the feeling internally. I want to know why I am feeling this way, and what is triggering it.



The next step is breathing. Having dealt with anxiety before, I know that once you feel that wave of nerves, it can be extremely difficult to come down from it. Trust this: focusing on your breathing will help.

It will help you center yourself before you become too wrapped up in your feelings.



After that, you have to find something to occupy yourself (that isn’t social media). I find that social media can sometimes worsen my loneliness, especially seeing photos of your friends and family back home.

Some things I do to occupy myself include going for a walk, getting coffee, starting some homework, or watching a show on Netflix. If you can focus your brain on something other than your loneliness, it will help you get through those tough moments.

Coping with loneliness is a difficult task, especially in college. I knew that it would be tough coming to a big school like Boston University, but I also knew that I needed to be open to new opportunities in order to grow as an individual.

When it comes down to it, there is no quick fix to being lonely. It is a tough feeling that is practically unavoidable. But what’s important is that you are able to find the light in your situation and remember that this too shall pass. 

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