When you were at home you probably talked with your BFF on a daily basis. But now that you’re both away at college, drowning in school work and busy immersing yourself into a new city, you don’t talk as frequently as you both may like. Let’s face it, you miss your BFF, but it just seems like there’s never any time to catch up anymore. Well, because HCBU believes in the power of BFFs, we’re here to help. Here’s some tips on how and why to make your best friendships last:
1.
How: Set aside time for a weekly phone date. Find that 30 minute period where you have time in-between classes and she’s just getting off work, and use it to your advantage! Now this doesn’t mean that you can’t talk on the phone more than once a week, but just in case life doesn’t make time for much more, it gives you both something to look forward to. Bonus points if you can schedule in a Skype date every now and then – as nice as it is to hear your BFFs voice, it’s even better to see her face-to-face.
Why: Nothing makes you feel more at home than chatting with your best friend, and no one understands you more than them. While you may have found a great group of friends at school (yay, you!), you probably have some things that you don’t feel you can share with them just yet. This is where your best friend comes in! Remember, this is the girl that you’ve probably spent a considerable amount of time spilling your secrets to, and for some reason she’s managed to stick with you through it all! AKA, you’ve just entered a judgement free zone, so there’s no need to hold back whether you’re missing home, confused about the guy you hooked up with last night, or dishing about your frenemy down the hall that is such a total snob. Take advantage of being able to vent freely without looking like a total b, and then move on. That’s what best friends are for.
2.
How: Send random texts and Facebook posts. Whether it’s reminding your friend of an old memory, or just a quick “hi, miss you!”, this is by far the easiest way to stay in touch. There’s no time commitment from either of you – just do it whenever you’re free! – and it can instantly put you both in a better mood.
Why: Nothing makes me happier than logging into Facebook and seeing a sweet, funny, or even embarrassing post from one of my friends. It reminds me why we’re friends in the first place and that no matter how far apart we are, no one can replace the kind of bond we have or the memories we share. I mean, who else is going to remind you of the time you were announcing homecoming court, totally butchered one kid’s name, and were then greeted by a synonymous groan from the crowd – yeah, talk about awkward. But while it might have been mortifying at the moment, chances are you’ll find it hilarious now and be thankful for the instant mood booster. That’s what best friends are for.
3.
How: Plan get togethers throughout the year. Thanksgiving and Christmas are a given, but try your best to get together at other points throughout the year as well. Plan visits during long weekends and start saving money now so you can’t make an excuse later!
Why: You miss each other, so why not see each other? Seeing your best friend is refreshing, and as everything else that has to do with your BFF, it puts the both of you in a better mood and helps when you’re stressed about school, work, whatever. And of course you both probably want to show off your campus! Take mini road trips and explore new cities while you have a free bed to sleep in for the weekend. Yes, you might be broke and trips might be expensive, but nothing compares to some quality BFF time. There’s no better way to remind yourselves why you two are BFFs then to hang out just like you used to. Dish about all the new gossip, go on a little adventure or two, and then just hang out and watch TV. That’s what best friends are for.
4.
How: Make new friends. Befriend that girl on your floor that seems like she could be fun, and ask that girl in your Chem class if she wants to grab lunch sometime. Join clubs. Go to parties. Leave your door open for visitors. Just keep introducing yourself to new people and try your best to let your guard down. It’ll be hard, and awkward, but you gotta do it.
Why: While it might seem like no one can ever compare to your BFF, it won’t help either of you if you don’t start making friends at your new school. First off, you won’t be happy sitting alone at all 3 meals and locking yourself in your room every weekend, and neither will your friendship. Chances are your BFF will go off and make her own friends, and while you may want to talk to her all the time like you used to, she’s probably out trying to have fun! This only causes stress on your relationship – you’ll feel jealous and betrayed, while she might start to feel trapped and smothered. Fights will break out, and blah, blah, blah – can you say drama? Now I’m definitely not saying you need to find a whole new BFF and leave your old one behind – remember, you two have an incredible history that’ll definitely be hard to replace – but it’ll help the both of you to go out and meet new people. And of course, don’t forget to be happy for your BFF when she does this. It’s easy to become jealous, but remember you want her to be happy too! So listen to her gab about her friends and like all the pictures of them on Facebook. That’s what best friends are for.
You’re BFFs with your BFF for a reason, and it’d be a shame to watch that all go to waste just because you both went off to school. Connie Li (Boston University, 2016) says she stays friends with her home BFFs by “texting and video chatting them once in awhile. When important or interesting things happen, I’ll be sure to tell them so that they still feel like they are part of my life. I choose to constantly keep in touch with them because they are a core part of my life and I don’t want to lose strong friendships because of distance.” Hopefully these tips and tricks help keep your friendship strong despite the distance because there’s nothing better than having the best BFF (or three).