We’ve all been there. You’re walking from class to class, and it hits you. The urgent need to drop a deuce. But where? Somewhere quiet… But not TOO quiet, where your poophobia will get the best of you and you’ll be left fruitless. If only there was a perfect location… But there is! Read below to learn about the best (and worst) places to lay a brick at BU.
Best:
- Hillel
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Located at 213 Bay State Road, BU Hillel is the perfect one-stop-shop for all your bowel movement needs. These bathrooms are empty, clean, and classy, making it the perfect place to pinch a loaf.
- GSU
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This might be considered a hot take, but the hustle and bustle of the GSU Backcourt bathroom make for an ideal spot for a snickers squeeze. It always smells bad and is crazy busy, so nobody will be able to tell who did the deed.
- Howard Thurman Center
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The newly renovated Howard Thurman Center is a great location if you’re looking for a place to stop and squat on your way to class. It’s pretty quiet and lowkey, allowing you to put Trump back in the White House in peace (with that being said, go register to vote!).
- The fifth floor of CGS
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There quite literally is no better place to lay a log than the fifth floor of CGS. Since this bathroom is way up on the fifth floor and CGS kids are too busy playing with crayons, glue, and scissors, it is almost always empty, leaving you alone to turn on the Playdough factory.
- Theology building
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A classified location for making an offering to the porcelain throne is the bathrooms in the theology building. These bathrooms have air fresheners that relieve the tiled cubes of their stink, allowing you to dump and go without a trace.
Worst:
- The basement of CAS
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It is indubitable that the basement of CAS is one of the worst places to unload on campus. People are always around, and in the winter, they really crank up the heat. A stuffy bowel movement is never the move, so I would not recommend this location.
- SCI
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If you’re looking for a good place to grow a monkey tail, SCI is not the place for you. These bathrooms constantly have lines out the door. Not to mention, people take their TIME in the stalls. You’ll be left late to class and feeling unsatisfied.
- First-floor locker room at FitRec
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Let’s be honest, going to FitRec is tough enough. But what happens when you’re mid-workout and have to unloose the caboose? Taking a deuce when you’re sweaty already sucks, and the first-floor locker room stalls only make it worse. The smells and constant foot traffic are a huge deterrent. Instead, you should head to the second floor, where virtually no one is around and you can liberate the brown trout in peace.
- Questrom first-floor bathrooms
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For all of the money funneled into Questrom, the bathrooms here are desperately inadequate. The toilets are frequently clogged, making it hard for anyone to liquidate their assets. At least one thing is for sure: you Questrom kids sure are drinking your coffee.
- Warren Towers lobby bathroom
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Can you honestly think of anything worse than Warren towers? No? Well here’s something that will take the cake: the Warren Towers lobby bathroom. This spot is a frequent vomit pit stop for freshman girls on the weekend, leaving the stalls smelly and unpleasant. I would not recommend these bathrooms to my worst enemy.
For more inspiration about the hot spots to squat on campus, follow @bathroomsofbu on Instagram.
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