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Five Things I Learned From a Toxic Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at BU chapter.

I started school at Boston University at the age of 18. Today, as freshman year has almost come to an end, I am not only reflecting on the things I have learned and the people I have met in the past year, but throughout these 18 years as well. In all this time, my senior of high school and freshman year of college have had the biggest impact on shaping the kind of person I am today.

Through everything, I have learned that the people who are or aren’t in my life have had the biggest influence on me. Despite the circumstances, I have always been severely attached to people and relationships. Out of the good and bad parts, it was the hard times that taught me everything I know today. The difficult times made me appreciate the good parts at an even more intense level. This article is about my personal experiences; about a few things I learned in order to have a healthy relationship.


1.) You require trust

It is said that any good relationship requires a foundation of trust. With today’s modern world, make sure not to trust them with just each other’s cell phones or social media passwords, but to trust each other with dark secrets and silly quirks, to trust each other and always respect each other, to trust each other and always be honest with each other.


2.) You need a sense of understanding

A sense of understanding has a lot to do with compatibility. In a world so big, there are many people who simply like different things than we do, or who have very different personalities from us. You are not guaranteed to click with everyone you meet. However, when you are involved in a relationship, it is important that your best friends or significant other understands you as a person and not just the kind of movies or music you like.


3.) You need to give each other space

In a world where we are constantly aware about what people are doing through the internet, and it is so easy to communicate with each other, it is truly important to give each other personal space. This space is important for the individual to reflect on themselves and keep in mind the truly important things they need to focus on. This is important especially when people are in their 20’s and need to build their respective careers.


4.) You have to be mature

It is usually advised by the elderly to not get involved in serious relationships at an early age. Like everything else, there are exceptions with relationships. For a fact, maturity comes with experience not age. I believe that in order to have a healthy relationship, it is important for two people to deal with things maturely. In today’s world, people base relationships and friendships through social media posts. It is important to look past the childish distractions and focus on the right goals and reasons to have a good relationship with someone.


5.) You need to know when to let go

Lastly, it is important to know when it’s time to let go. Personally, I get attached to people very easily. Be it a week or a year, I have often been involved in a relationship even if it’s toxic, only because it is hard for me to let that person and all the memories go. However, through experiences, I have learned that letting go of a toxic relationship is one of the best things one could do for their self-growth and best interest. And I do believe that letting go of the bad things or people in your life only leads you to the right things and people.


Through my experiences, I learned to finally let go of a toxic relationship. Sometimes, when you are infatuated with someone or have been best friends with someone for the longest time, you often look past their faults simply because you love them. There is nothing wrong in doing so. Nobody’s perfect and you accept and still love your friends, boyfriends or girlfriends despite those matters. However, it is important to know that there is a thin line between being imperfect and being toxic. There are a lot of people in this world, and at some point each one of us goes through a toxic relationship with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend or even a family member. This does not mean that they are a bad person. How they live their life and what they do cannot be controlled by you. However, this just means that they are not the person for you. They are not meant to be in your life. Like it is said, our life is like a book. The people who are most important in our lives are like chapters. While some take up a page, others take up a huge part of our lives.

Make sure you hold onto the important chapters in life and not the loose leaf pages.

Hey! My name is Riya Haria and I'm from India. I am currently a freshman studying Journalism at the College of Communication. My hobbies include photography, exploring and listening to music. I am thrilled to be a part of Her Campus and cannot wait to express my thoughts and opinions with all of you! x
Writers of the Boston University chapter of Her Campus.