A couple weeks ago, I was walking into Stuvi 2 and saw something weird. Something weird that shouldn’t have been.
A man was holding the door open for a group of ladies going out. Behind them was another man. He was close behind them but far enough that the guy holding the door would have had time to let go and walk in. You know that awkward timing when you see someone holding the door for you but you feel like you have to run so they’re not waiting too long? Well whoever was holding the door waited the extra four seconds for the other dude!
Why did I even notice this? Probably because I was cramming for my women’s studies commentary. But it was refreshing to see a guy going out of his way to hold a door for a group of women, but also a fellow man.
Holding the door open for a stranger and clearing off the dinner table for your mom are courteous acts we all should hold ourselves accountable for. I appreciate when my boyfriend carries my bags, but I appreciate it even more since he does these things not because I’m a “damsel in distress” but because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t expect my boyfriend to be chivalrous. I expect him to be respectable.
The problem I have with chivalry is the expectations it brings along. If someone buys me a drink at a bar, does he expect to get something in return?
Well…
(Not that I frequently get free drinks. My dance moves are too intense)
This is not to say there’s anything remotely wrong with accepting a drink or a nice gesture and not being flattered. It’s how we communicate with one another. It’s how we are introduced to someone new or show our appreciation to those who are most important to us. But ladies, I implore you to expect respect out of your significant other, not chivalry.
If chivalry is dying then so are the implications of women not being able to pull out their own damn chairs. This is something to be celebrated! PUT CHIVALRY IN ITS GRAVE.
Times are changing. Sure, women enjoy a good bouquet of flowers every now and again. But we can show respect in a multitude of fashions for everyone without ulterior motives.
So I say let chivalry die. What good has it done for us so far anyway?