I feel the need to skip the “Had I Seen It” and “Do I Like It?” sections of the column this week because I have to come right out and say that A Christmas Story is one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time. I have seen it on the big screen, the small screen, with and without commercials, in the background while opening presents with my family on Christmas morning. I can’t truly describe how happy I am when I watch it, how much I look forward to watching it every year, or how often I reference it. It is hard to believe now, since on a drive to scope out Christmas lights you are almost guaranteed to see a leg lamp in at least one house window, but my mother recently told me the story of her seeing this movie in a nearly empty theater with a couple of her high school friends. She loved it, and I guess it reasonably follows that I would too.
A Christmas Story is not so hidden today, and I think it deserves its praise – as well as its 24-hour Christmas Day marathon on TBS. Based on a few of the short stories in Jean Shepherd’s 1966 novel In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash (and some of the author’s radio performances), set in the 1930s/40s, released in the 1980s, this film is actually timeless (and somehow able to make me nostalgic for time periods during which I did not even exist). So, here’s the Bitchin’ Bio:
Release Date: November 18, 1983
Synopsis: It’s winter in Cleveland, and nine-year-old Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley, who would later cameo as one of the elves in Elf (2003)) knows exactly what he wants for Christmas:
To his dismay, no one approves, everyone telling him, “you’ll shoot your eye out.” As Ralphie keeps dreaming of his BB gun, he goes through the motions of his life: taking care of his brother, Randy (Ian Petrella), getting into trouble with his friends, being chased by bullies, and so on. Ralphie hits obstacle after obstacle while holding out hope for his ideal present, and Christmas keeps getting closer. Short scenes individually highlight many of the antics he and his family manage to get into, all of it narrated by adult Ralphie (Jean Shepherd).
Degrees of Kevin Bacon: 2. Melinda Dillon (Mrs. Parker) is in Harry and the Hendersons (1987) with John Lithgow, who is in Footloose (1984) with Bacon.
Come for: Iconic moments such as Ralphie’s bunny suit and daydreams. Iconic lines, including (but NOT limited to):
“You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!”
“Fra-gee-lay. Must be Italian.”
“I triple dog dare you.”
And one of my personal favorites: “I can’t put my arms down!”
Stay for: A family dynamic that turns out to be very sweet. And of course, Ralphie’s triumphant Christmas.
A Christmas Story is truly a classic, and I personally think I saved the best Christmas movie for my last column of the decade. In case I haven’t made my love or bias clear enough, here are a couple pictures of me channeling my inner Ralphie:
My sister, cousins and I on Christmas Eve 2017… I’m the “Pink Nightmare,” as Ralphie’s father puts it so eloquently.
I’m clearly devoted to my craft.
So, there you have it. I’m obsessed with A Christmas Story. I may or may not dream of visiting and touring Ralphie’s house one day. I hope you share my feelings, but if not, well…
You did it, you got through the semester! Thanks for joining me on my journey so far. I can’t wait to be back to work on this column when we get back from break. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
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