I’ve never actually watched the movie Never Been Kissed. It might be on my playlist for Valentine’s Day weekend, which, unfortunately, due to the midterm season has to be the weekend after Valentine’s Day. I love Valentine’s Day, which is actually kind of funny because I’m single, and I’ve also never been kissed.
I’ve surely dated – but for some reason, nothing has ever happened. I’ve never stopped it from happening (except for this one time with this creepy guy at 2 AM, back when I was figuring out the ins and outs of Tinder dates). It just never happened to me.
My high school wasn’t exactly the most touchy-feely place. Honestly, if I hugged a guy (or a girl) I would get a notice, and 2 notices led to a strike, so in full honesty, we were conditioned to think that all forms of PDA were bad, and could get us into serious trouble. At least, I feel like I may have been conditioned like that.
I knew I wasn’t the only one back in my high-school, and in full honesty, I still get shocked when someone from my past tells me that they made out with someone. However, I assumed that it was just our confined region that had that experience. Then I came to college and realized that, well, apparently I’m not alone.
It’s strange meeting people who share the same (lack of) experience as you. It forms a certain form of a unity amongst you. Honestly, a lot of my friends have the same background as I in terms of dating and experience, which is minimal.
It’s weird though. You sort of expect to have had your first kiss before you even go to college. Maybe it would be romantic – all Notebook style in the rain, I remember telling people in middle school that I want my first kiss in the rain. Maybe it wouldn’t be – maybe it would have been messy – braces and glasses and the like. Whatever it would have been, it would have been at least something. But I came into college with no experience with kissing anyone like that.
It affects you. People just assume that you’ve done it – especially if you told them that you’ve dated before. I’ve had a couple of friends be completely shocked by the fact itself – especially when they heard about the types of guys that I’ve dated. I feel as though, however, it depends on the type of date – and if there was a chance of a second one. And I’ve never really met someone that I wanted to have a second date with or could have one. So I guess it just didn’t happen.
And because people just assume, it’s becoming harder and harder to tell people. It’s not like I want to wear a pin around, or a t-shirt, screaming out ‘Hey, I’ve Never Been Kissed”. But sometimes, it’s just easier when the people you talk to on a daily basis know, like my roommate (who oddly enough assumes that I’ve done a lot – which is weird because she lives with me).
But then again, you meet the few people who share the same experiences as you, and it becomes something that you bond over. It’s like you’re in on this dirty little secret that no one else knows. Except it’s kind of a really clean secret.
Sometimes I sort of want to just message a guy on Tinder and get over with it – but sometimes, actually most times, I want it to be perfect. If I waited this long, I’m going to wait until it’s raining outside and there’s heavy metal playing in the background. I might as well make it special after all this time.
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