If you’re like me and love your dog more than most humans (sorry little brother), being apart from your precious pup takes quite a toll on your psyche. This pain is not limited to dogs, obvi, the separation anxiety can be applied to any pet: cat, hamster, or parakeet. And from my pain staking observations and expert calculations, I have concluded that the two and a half month mark is typically when you start to display signs that you really miss your pet.
The Signs:
1. The Internet has become nothing more than a way to find Tumblrs/ Instagrams/Vines of dogs. True story: I once spent an hour on Instagram looking at the hashtag for puppy instead of writing a paper. Not super proud of that, but it happened.
2. Looking through your own pictures/videos of your pet makes you emit strange and slightly sexual sounds. I’m going to hope you’re in private if they’re sexual, otherwise you’ll just make your situation worse.
3. The first response that comes to your head when asked what you’re looking forward to doing when you get home is, “snuggling with (insert horse, snake, or fish’s name here). “
4. Pet food ads make you oddly emotional. And don’t even think about going near an ASPCA ad featuring Sarah McLachlan. But actually, who decided those were a good idea? I mean I understand they get the point across, but at what cost to my mental well-being?
5. Any and all dogs being walked are fair game to be pet, regardless of how creepy the owner might think you are, “Ehmahgawd he is just so precious! Who’s a cute doggy? You are! YOU ARE!!” *Starts laughing hysterically while eye twitches*
6. When people try to relate or sympathize with the sadness you’re feeling, you just get mad. YOU DON’T KNOW MY PAIN.
So if you find yourself exhibiting any or all of these signs, then congratulations! You officially miss your pet more than you probably should. But that’s ok, because you know your ferret, duck, or rock misses you just as much if not more.