Ever since I was a child, I have had but ONE simple dream. [Quick sidebar: this is a lie, I am lying to you. I have always had at least 12 million dreams because, as Sharpay Evans puts it in her Grammy-deserving song “I Want it All” from High School Musical 3, “I want it all.” However, for the sake of this article, let’s just pretend my whole life has been centered around just one dream.] This sole dream that I have always dreamed a little dream about is having silky and luscious hair.
I can’t help it, I want my luxurious locks to just flow in the wind without ever getting tangled. I want to take a shower and have my hair naturally dry in a way that looks effortlessly styled. I want to tie my hair up with a ribbon (a la Cinderella) and have the ribbon stay in place. Unfortunately, my hair doesn’t give a hoot about my wants and demands, and, let’s be real, ribbons aren’t an effective hair tie FOR ANYONE. So, like many of us, I’ve had to do things the old fashioned way: buy a shit-ton of hair products until I found what works for me. And boy oh boy, have I hit the jackpot. So without further ado, and in no particular order because I love all of these sweet little lifesavers equally, I present you with my six favorite hair products.
Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo ($5.29)
A few years ago, I had a run-in with some new high-end shampoo and conditioner for color treated hair (surprise, surprise, I’m not a natural blonde. Did my dark eyebrows give it away, or maybe it was my dark roots? I am a poser). I was hoping since I had spent some serious money on this new shampoo and conditioner that my hair would look it’s best. I was WRONG. After only a few washes, my hair looked pretty bad. It looked like I had just coated my hair in a layer of gel and it felt so greasy. I kept washing it, trying to get rid of the greasy look, but it just made it worse. I tried switching back to drugstore brand shampoo and conditioner, but alas, nothing was working.
That’s when I hit the internet and discovered the holy grail: Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo. Oh my stars, this stuff is top shelf. It had my hair back to normal and looking healthier than ever after just one wash! It got rid of all the residue that had built up from other products and made me feel like a brand new woman. Ever since then, Neutrogena Anti-Residue shampoo has become a staple in my hair-care arsenal. I use it at least once a week to rejuvenate my hair and keep me looking #fresh2death. Do yourself a favor and get a bottle of this stuff. You won’t regret it (and if you do it’s because you hate having light and bouncy Alicia-Silverstone-from-Clueless-style hair and that’s a you problem!)
Wet Brush Original Detangler ($11.99)
Ooh, baby baby. The wet brush. I’m gonna be honest, I think I’ve blocked out all the memories of my life from before I got The Wet Brush because I don’t want to remember a time without this bad boy. I mean, I guess I vaguely remember a childhood filled with painful hair brushing. When I was a child (finally, an excuse to talk about me again) I had really long hair with straight-across bangs (the straight-across bangs detail is not important to this story at all, but it’s important to me that you all know about it). My hair is naturally wavy so it gets tangled very easily. This meant when my mom would brush and style my hair as a child (yes we were that kind of Gymboree and Children’s Place fashion-forward family) I would cry because the brush would pull on the snarls in my hair.
If only I had had the wet brush back then, I could be a completely different person. I could be a piano prodigy or the world’s youngest brain surgeon (big reach here), but unfortunately, my hair was pulled too hard (these have nothing to do with each other).
I would like to sue The Wet Brush company for emotional damages for waiting until I was an adult to come out with this brush. However, I won’t be taking them to court because I still get to reap the benefits of this brush, even at my old age. This hairbrush deserves every award ever. It doesn’t matter how tangled or messy your hair is, this godsend will brush through it with ease and not pull your hair AT ALL. I know it sounds too good to be true, but I swear The Wet Brush is just as amazing as it sounds. If you don’t already have one, please go get one. Your hair will thank you.
What is up my ladies and gents with bottle blonde hair?! How y’all doing tonight? Does anyone have brassy tones? Does anyone feel that their brassy tones are especially orange or yellow? Well not to worry anymore my sweet little ducklings because mama’s got you! You are safe now! I know what you’re thinking, “Do I really need to buy toning shampoo? Won’t my hair just stay a nice bright and white blonde?” And the answer is yes you do and no it won’t. I too was once young and naive, thinking that I didn’t need to spend money on an extra product, but I am older and wiser now. If you have blonde dyed hair and don’t have a purple shampoo (the shampoo is purple, I know, how regal?) in your own personal hair-care collection then you best pay some serious attention because I’m about to impart my wisdom on you.
PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF OUR FEARLESS BLONDE LEADER ELLE WOODS, GO OUT AND GET SOME PURPLE SHAMPOO! But don’t just get any old purple shampoo, they are not all created equal! Because I am a woman of the people and live a life devoted to helping others (I’m painfully selfless and humble, clearly), I have gone ahead and tried many different purple shampoos until I found the best one so you don’t have to. You’re welcome. So people, the best of the best is Matrix Total Results So Silver Shampoo, hands down. It’s a little more expensive than your typical drugstore shampoo, but it’s worth it.
I use this shampoo a few times a week to keep my hair looking bright and blonde. I use it more than is suggested because the water where I live is especially hard and turns my hair orange if I don’t have this stuff. Matrix Total Results So Silver is worth the money because not only does really work, but it also lasts. I’ve had the same bottle since November and STILL have quite a bit left. Every time I use it, it leaves my hair noticeably blonder and makes it so I can space out my hair appointments a little longer. It really has saved me money and made me reach my full blonde potential.
If you have color treated hair ranging anywhere from white to blonde to gray, then this product is a must. And don’t worry, it won’t turn your blonde hair gray, it will just keep your blonde bright and the yellow/orange tones at bay. Just make sure you use a hydrating conditioner after you shampoo with this because the toning can make your hair feel a little dry.
I know, I know, this one is really expensive. I’ll confess, I’ve never actually bought this product. Instead, I received a sample size as a part of the Sephora Rewards Card program. I sometimes wish I had never tried it because there is no turning back now. I can’t un-see how beautiful and silky smooth this product makes my hair. I’m not even exaggerating when I say to you that this is the best product I HAVE EVER USED for taming frizzy hair. I have tried many brands, drugstore and high-end, of products promising to get rid of fly-aways and make my hair look shiny and luscious, and this is the only one that has ever worked.
I’m almost out of my sample size of this magic elixir and I keep trying to talk myself out of spending $29 on this stuff, but I know in my heart that I’m going to splurge. It really is that good. I wouldn’t lead you astray. If you have any sort of texture to your hair this product will completely transform your hair from frizzy to silky. I love CAVIAR’s Anti-Aging Moisture CC Cream so much that I wrote it into my will. It will be receiving all of my earthly belongings in the event of my passing. I know this is a little extreme, but what can I say? I’m in love.
As a woman who is always looking for ways to put the least effort into all things, especially getting ready, I have tried many dry shampoos. For a long time, I didn’t understand the hype. I have thin hair (Mariah Carey is SHAKING because my hair is so skinny), but I’ve got A LOT of it. Because of this and my obsessive need to take a shower every day, my hair gets greasy pretty easily. My older sister introduced me to other kinds of dry shampoo, but none of them seemed to work on my hair the way they worked on her thick (read thicc) flowing hair. That was until my mom (shoutout to Heather, I love you) got me a subscription to BIRCHBOX, a monthly subscription box filled with sample sized beauty products. One of the boxes I received had a travel-sized dry shampoo in it. I figured I would give it a try, because what the heck did I have to lose?
Well turns out what I had to lose was my lack of faith in dry shampoo and my money because Klorane dry shampoo turned me into a believer and a loyal customer. Now I only use Klorane dry shampoo. It is the only dry shampoo that has actually worked on my hair. If I don’t have time to take a shower or just don’t want to take one because I’m #lazy, I just shake up a bottle of this, spray it on my roots, wait about two minutes, then brush and style my hair. It’s that easy. I know it’s a little pricier for a dry shampoo, but it is worth it. Plus it has oat milk in it which sounds legit.
Last, but certainly not least, is Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Moist Deep Conditioner. I have been hearing whisperings about this product for years but had never gotten around to buying it, until a few weeks ago. I had just gotten my hair dyed blonde again and it was feeling pretty dry. I was walking around CVS, buying things that I didn’t need (as one does), when I set my pretty little eyes on this pupper. I mean, it’s super inexpensive and my hair felt like it was experiencing its own personal drought, so I thought that I might as well give it the old college try. And man am I glad that I did. Aussie, you sneaky little snake! I didn’t know you were capable of such wonders! My hair has never felt so deeply conditioned and it is all thanks to you! I have now added this into my haircare routine and I suggest you do the same! Also, this is a great product to use right after using the Matrix So Silver Purple shampoo!
Well, that just about does it, my fine feathered friends. I have given you all the secrets to having luxurious hair, now it is your turn to decide what to do with it. Please use this information wisely, I am counting on you to spread the good word on hair-care. Godspeed, my little angels.