I have always been more of a “girls girl.” Growing up, my friends have always been female and, while I love my guy friends, I could not imagine not having female friends. There are some girls who view female friends as the “inferior” option, usually saying something along the lines of “I only hang out with boys ’cause it’s less drama. Girls are so catty.” These statements make me roll my eyes so far into the back of my head I can literally see my brain cells dying.
Here are 10 things I would rather do then spend time with girls who bash other girls:
1. I would rather…realize other women are not the enemy.
I don’t know how it started, but as we grew up we were taught that other girls are competition, usually for the attention of boys, but also for other reasons. That doesn’t have to be true. Instead of seeing other women as obstacles, we can work towards building each other up.
2. I would rather…focus on building up the confidence in other girls instead of tearing them down.
3. I would rather…go skydiving with my ex as my instructor.
That honestly seems more pleasant.
4. I would rather…realize I don’t look cool by bashing other girls.
Nope. You just look mean.
5. I would rather…embrace my femininity and not see it as a weakness.
You do not have to be feminine if that’s not your style. Be yourself above all else, but there is no need to put down girls for how they choose to present themselves.
6. I would rather…realize that there is a difference between being critical of my fellow women and tearing them down.
You can call out your fellow ladies for their bad behavior.
7. I would rather…focus on being happy without needing to put down others to feel superior.
Isn’t there that great quote from Mean Girls where Cady realizes bashing others doesn’t mean you will be better yourself? Yeah, I think that applies here.
8. I would rather…try to improve my relationships with other girls because we need to look out for each other.
Maybe I’m feeling this way because I just joined a sorority and sisterhood is everything. Regardless, we have to support each other.
9. I would rather…focus on unlearning internalized misogyny.
There’s a term for feeling like you’re superior to other girls for not being “girly” or thinking you, and by extension other girls, are inferior. It’s called internalized misogyny, and women need to focus on unlearning that so we can stop feeling like other women are the enemy.
10. I would rather…spend my day with a meninist.
Nah, I’m just kidding. That would be the worst.
*This was partially a sarcastic list, but it came from a place of truth.*