Relationships with a significant other can be complicated. It’s not always smooth sailing. Seas can become draining, dangerous, and dull. Who knows, you could even get lost in the waves and find parts of yourself you didn’t realize were there. Feelings fade sometimes. There’s a million fish in the sea, and he just may not be your Nemo. It’s okay, really.
Listen to the rationale in your head and allow your heart to expand if you aren’t feeling it. You have to do what’s best for you.
These are a few reasons why walking away from a current relationship may be difficult.
1. You’re too invested.
It’s difficult to move on when half of your photo album from the past year is filled with pictures of you two. We get it. Your Instagram may basically be a play by play of your love story. You’ve met his friends, extended family, coworkers, even the Starbucks barista he buys his coffee from in the morning knows your name, not to mention a decent amount of your Facebook friends are associated with him. You have a place on his dresser you put your stuff when you’re at his home and some of your clothing and jewelry is from him. It may feel like you’re in too deep. We have news for you: you’re not.
2. You love his family like your own.
Adjustments aren’t easy. Going from having dinner with the family at his home and falling in love with his pets to not seeing them any more is definitely an absence that’ll hit you. Suddenly you’re only Snapchatting his sister funny dog pictures, not showing them to her in person. It’s distant and different, but it doesn’t mean you have to cut the connection. That’s up to you. Driving by his road and thinking of all the times you sat laughing in the living room being teased by his stepdad may seem unbearable to imagine now, but in the future you’ll be able to smile at those memories. His family gave you something to smile about, and that’s special, even if it’s in the past.
3. You doubt yourself.
“Will anyone ever love me again?” Believe us, you’ll find your person. It isn’t only your fault you and he are not working out. Your relationship didn’t go downhill because you aren’t pretty enough or funny enough. That’s not the case. We live in an ever changing world. People change. Circumstances change. Opportunities change. But, one component that should never change is your positive image of yourself. Quit wondering if “love just isn’t meant to happen for you” or if you leave him you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. Be realistic, take a step, and whatever you do, be confident in doing it.
4. Starting over takes effort.
It’s proven that time is the number one factor that impacts people’s choices. “Well, I’ve been with him for three years, I don’t want all that time to go to waste.” If you enjoyed those three years but things just aren’t the same anymore, it isn’t wasted time. Differentiate, please. It’s totally understandable that beginning with exchanging names and where you’re from with a stranger doesn’t sound appealing, but it could be the best decision you ever make. Don’t allow the count of days you spent with someone keep you from experiencing new days with someone else. Risk it if it’s not right.
5. It’d be weird doing the activities you do with him alone.
We’re attached beings. The radio is formatted to play songs that make us emotional, and small occurrences such as scents or body language can bring back snippets of time we thought we forgot. Eventually, you’ll be able to do whatever you want and it won’t matter much if he’s the one who introduced you to it. Don’t let anything stop you from doing what you love, and if it helps, bring a friend to that favorite lake you and him used to kayak on. Turn on Criminal Minds and watch it for yourself, because it thrills you and that is what matters. Everything will get better.