Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
/ Unsplash

The Truth About Being the Friend in a Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bryant chapter.

Relationships and friends… it has always been a problem for collegiettes to juggle the two. When your friend finds out about your new relationship, naturally she is happy for you. But deep down, you know she’s wondering if your time and conversations will now be all about your S.O. It really is difficult trying to maintain a relationship with your S.O. and your friends.

When you’re the one in a relationship, you’ll noticed that your friends fear you’ll become “that friend”. The friend that starts using “we” all the time, talking about their relationship nonstop, and spending all their free time with their S.O. It is a totally normal response for your friends to have, but do they ever think about your feelings?

No one wants to be the friend in a relationship who needs an intervention about your S.O. It’s a hard task to balance both relationships equally. The important thing to remember is that you need to talk with not only your S.O., but your friends as well. Having both parties know that you want a balance between them is key. Make sure they get to know each other as well. This will make communication better and making plans easier.

To our single friends, we understand. We know that going to Salmo with your best friend and her boyfriend makes you feel like a third wheel, even if you’re friendly with each other. Feeling like a third wheel is natural, and something that should be talked about openly. That way all three of you can be honest with each other.

Another place where the girls in a relationship run into problems is use of the word “we”. It’s something couples are fond doing, and it’s okay to talk about yourselves as an item! However, make sure you incorporate your side of things as well. For example, saying “We saw The Martian and I really enjoyed the part when….”. This simple way to incorporate both we and yourself is important so your friends don’t always just hear about both of you.

It can be hard on friends when a new guy comes into the picture. The best thing to do is to let them get to know each other and spend time with you in a balanced way. This way no one is left feeling out of the group. It may seem funny knowing that your friends react in an odd way to the relationship at first, but all you have to do is give them time. Make sure no one is feeling alone, and have a talk once in a while to touch base and acknowledge how they’re feeling. It is important to keep your friends, collegiettes, so do not lose them over a man! You can replace a S.O., but nothing can replace the true bond of friendship. 

I am a fun, outgoing person and spend my time shopping, reading, and writing for HC. I enjoy tanning and hanging with my friends or watching Netflix when I have time. Please feel free to follow me on insta at @alexandranpappas I will follow you back!