Dear Mom and Dad,
Divorce is never easy. I still remember when things started to change and I realized our family would never be the same. I was in middle school, so I had a pretty good understanding of what divorce would mean. It would mean two houses and two Christmases. At the time I was old enough not to be too naive. Divorce meant our family would change- permanently. I remember our last family vacation together and how forced things felt. Our family was falling apart but you were doing everything to hold it together. You constantly told us how you still loved us and each other, but that things weren’t the same any more after 20 years of marriage. You taught me that love never dies, it just changes. I couldn’t wrap my head around how this could happen to my family. I saw it coming, but I was still surprised by it all. It was hard seeing our family falling apart, but we rebuilt very quickly. I had always heard about messy divorces with lots of yelling, lawyers and fighting, but this was different. There was no yelling and no mess. I thank you both for continuously having respect for each other and remaining friends despite everything that happened.
Dad, when you moved across town lines and into your first apartment, I told you I would never come there because I didn’t want to admit it was happening. I was not happy with you and I think I hurt you because of it, and I regret that. Being an adult you know what’s best for the family, and now I can see that. I wish I had you in the house as I grew up and became the woman I am today. Our weekly dinners were almost all I gave you of my time after the divorce, and I wish I could have spent more time with you before I left for college. No matter what happens, I’m still your little girl. I wonder how our relationship would have been different if you and mom were still married. The time I do spend with you is time I will always appreciate and cherish.
Mom- eight years later and I can definitely see that the divorcing was for the best. You each lead happy lives now and I can tell you are better off this way. Although I live primarily with you, Mom, I still have equal love and appreciation for you both. You are a best friend to me, and I think the fact that you were the sole parent in the house for almost half my life was a major contribution to that. You did everything right. You picked up the pieces and carried on with life in a way that I will always remember. You never showed any signs of weakness, and I consider you to be the strongest woman I know.
Thank you both for doing what was best for you and, at the end of the day, best for me, too. Divorce is never easy but you both made it seem that way. Our family is still a family, even though we don’t all live under one roof anymore. I appreciate you both and the way you handled everything. Don’t think you damaged me by getting divorced; I actually think I am a stronger person today because of you both and the way you handled everything.
Love,
Your Daughter