We’re sure all of us collegiettes have had the situation throughout our lives where we are talking to a boy for a while, things escalate further, and then they just end (usually badly). It’s not like you ever dated, which just makes things that much more confusing for you. Now the question is how do you get over the boy you never actually dated? We are here to offer some advice for all of you who are going through this situation or will have to in the future.
It’s more confusing for you getting over this boy than an ex-boyfriend because you know you shouldn’t be so invested in it, considering you never actually dated them. Despite this, the feelings were still real even if you never meant to actually ~catch feelings~ when you started talking to them. Either way, it happened and now here you are trying to get over him.
Before anything else you need to remember to appreciate yourself and how special you are. Don’t get so caught up in this boy that forget how amazing you are and how much you have to offer. Isolating yourself from everything will not help because time will go on, despite the fact that you are spending all your time in bed hiding under the covers. Instead, spend your time doing the things you love. Do things such as surrounding yourself with friends, going for a walk, or ordering some cute new clothes online if that’s what makes you happy. Put yourself first and, despite how lonely you may feel in this moment, just remember you are truly amazing.
Next, we are going to go about this situation as if it ended badly for both of you (because unfortunately, that is what tends to happen in these situations). Since it ended badly we recommend deleting this boy from all forms of social media. Yes, that means delete them from Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and no more looking at their VSCO if they have that, either. It might be hard because we all know stalking people on social media is one of our favorite pastimes, but trust us this will be very beneficial for you in getting over them. When you aren’t constantly seeing them in your news feeds it will be that much easier to follow through with the “out of sight out of mind” mindset that everyone talks about.
The next thing to do that can help a lot is to find a replacement. No, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to rush into hooking up with some random boy you meet at the townhouses this weekend (unless that’s your thing, then you do you). All of us are going to get over someone at a different pace, but finding a new boy to distract yourself with is definitely going to help get the old one out of your mind. It could be that cute boy in your economics group, someone in the E-board of your club, your neighbor in your hall, or anyone else you could potentially be interested in. Getting to know someone new is exciting and will definitely help you stop thinking about that other boy.
Another thing we highly recommend is to stop talking about him to your friends. As we mentioned, the “out of sight out of mind” mindset is going to be your best friend in this situation. It makes sense for you to stop talking about them because you are no longer talking to them so you shouldn’t have much to say anymore. If you stop talking about this boy to your friends, then hopefully this will cause you to stop thinking about him also. Also, don’t get upset after hearing what girl was in his bed last week. You and him are done and it’s time to move on.
We do understand that when attending a small school you are bound to see this person around campus, which can be hard. If you want it to be easier for you, you should try to be the bigger person and let go of what happened between you two and not let their presence bother you. Since it is a small school, it could feel like almost every time you go somewhere you are going to run into their annoying face. But if you don’t let it get to you, then it won’t.
So collegiettes, we hope our advice helps you in some way to get over the boy you never actually dated. Things really do happen for a reason and we can promise you this is not the end of the world; you are probably better off without him. Pick up the pieces, move on, and learn from the experience. As we told you, “out of sight out of mind!”