Recently I found myself in a situation reciting the common phrase “carrots will help you see in the dark” and was quickly corrected by a laughing crowd of people claiming that it was just a myth. Wait, that’s not true? But my dad told me that as a kid… Sure enough it was just a big fat lie! So I got to thinking.. just how many myths was I told as a kid?! After talking to a few peers, these are the 7 most common lies our parents told us as children.
Fictional characters
We all remember the various fictional characters that we were so fond of as children: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny were all introduced to us by our parents at a young age. Our elders might argue that these characters were created for “our benefit,” but let’s think about what WE had to do for these characters.
“Santa won’t come unless you’re good” or “he’ll bring you coal if you’re bad” were common phrases to get us to behave around the holiday season. “The tooth fairy won’t come unless you go to sleep,” we now know was just another tactic to get us to bed early; not to mention they were the ones slipping money under our pillows once we dozed off! Looking back, these characters did bring us joy and great memories worth remembering, but I can’t help but feel a little played!
The Stork
Whether it was your mom, dad, uncle, grandma, or older brother… no one was prepared for your infamous question “where do babies come from?” Instead of the straightforward and honest approach, most of us were fed some senseless story about a magic stork dropping us off on the doorstep. Understandably, explaining child birth to a small child isn’t an easy task… but a stork, really?
“Your face will get stuck like that”
Cross your eyes and distort your faces into the ugliest thing imaginable collegiettes! I’m here to tell you, your face will NOT get stuck like that. Every parent wants a well-behaved, healthy, and beautiful child to show off to the world, so something had to be said when we were twisting our faces and sticking out our tongues at everyone we passed in the supermarket. Naturally it was just a lie that haunted us for years.
“I have eyes in the back of my head”
I might still be convinced about this one… how do they know everything!?
“If you tell me the truth, you won’t get in trouble”
Probably my favorite lie that I was told as a child was “If you tell me the truth, you won’t get in trouble.” DO NOT BELIEVE THIS. EVER. Lie, deny, and then lie and deny some more; you will get in just as much trouble for telling the truth! In fact, your confession gives them all the evidence they need to put you in timeout, scream, ground you, and take away your most prized possession! GOSH, where was this article when I needed it!
Mommy and Daddy are taking a Nap
Ew. Now we all know what this nap entailed… naptime and sexytime are basically interchangeable. This was the lie our parents told us to keep quiet and stay out of mommy and daddy’s room when they needed to have some “alone time”.
Veggies..and their magical powers
At one time or another, every vegetable you ate had some sort of magical power. As I had mentioned before, carrots allowed you to have night vision. Broccoli made you grow big and tall, spinach gives you huge muscles, etc. If only this were true…. I’d be some sort of 7 foot tall superhero.
Now keep in mind this is only 7 of the hundreds of lies our parents told us as kids. I think it’s safe to say we were all fed massive amounts of misinformation; to keep us out of trouble and to do what we were told. Of course this bothers and upsets me as the subject of these blatant lies, but let’s be honest… I’m sure we’ll find ourselves in the same predicament with our own frustrating tyke somewhere down the road…telling them the pool will turn green if they pee in it!
Pictures taken from:
http://momfaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/lying.jpg
http://goo.gl/H3Gol
http://goo.gl/OPF9G