I went on a date with my Uber driver

I went on a date with my Uber driver.

It was the Monday morning that marked the end of a super fun Spring Break. The only thing I dreaded more than going back to school was taking the train back to school. I strategically waited until the last minute to buy my ticket so that the prices would be as high as the price an Uber would be. I carried my 50 pound suitcase into the kitchen and explained to my mom there was no way I would be able to carry that bag onto the train. She caved and told me I could take an Uber—just so she wouldn’t have to listen to me complain anymore.  

When I order an Uber to school, I always check with the driver first to see if they are okay with driving me somewhere that’s 3 hours away. Normally, it takes asking a few drivers before one says yes, but this time, the first driver I contacted agreed. When he arrived, I said bye to my mom and my dogs and struggled to carry my huge suitcase to the car. Babu took my bag and put it in the trunk.

As we began our trip, he jokingly asked me if there was a body in my bag, given it was so heavy. It was funny at first, but then he asked me again a few minutes later. He said something like “I need you to tell me if there’s a body in your bag, so that I know I’m not doing anything illegal.” I told him he could rest assured that it is filled completely with clothes, shoes, bags, and makeup.

Babu was one of the most reckless drivers I have ever driven with. He was speeding out of control, and the amount of times my backpack went flying across the car from him stopping short could not be counted on one hand. I was even more worried when he told me that he has been pulled over over 100 times in New York as an Uber driver. But don’t worry—he only has 4 points on his license because his brother worked for the NYPD and had gotten him out of the tickets. So reassuring.  

Once we got on the highway he said to me, “I wouldn’t have driven you this far if you hadn’t been honest and messaged me before, I appreciated that.” He then said, “I didn’t answer right away and I thought ok—I was thinking thinking thinking—so much of thinking, then I said alright okay.” He paused, and then said, “But now that I picked you up, I’m thinking in an hour I”m going to be hungry, what am I going to do?” I laughed nervously, and he proceeded, “Because I am driving this far and am going to have to drive 3 hours back to New York all alone, by myself, you have to buy me lunch.” I thought he was kidding, so I said “Haha okay!” But then 2 hours later when he actually said he was hungry and wanted to stop, I realized Babu was serious.

Let me back up. Throughout the ride, I was trying to read something for school, but I was interrupted when Babu asked me “Hey do you like trivia?” I put down what I was reading and said “Sure,” honestly because I felt awkward saying no. The first question he asked was “Which mammal can’t jump?” I guessed elephants because they’re so big, and I was right. He was so impressed but it was really just a lucky guess. It only went downhill from there, as I barely knew the answers to any of the other questions. I could barely get through 1 sentence of the document I was reading before he blurted out another trivia question.

I told him he should go on Jeopardy, but he said his English isn’t good enough. I speak so incredibly fast (I’m constantly criticized by my parents), and I knew sometimes he was “uh-huh-ing” as if he knew what I was saying but didn’t really understand.

Babu then proceeded to tell me that I look like Megan Kelly, which could not be further from the truth. I legit had never looked worse in my life, and it was the most inaccurate comparison I’ve ever heard. Is it because we’re both blonde?

About an hour and a half into the drive, he told me he was hungry and that we were going to stop—and that I needed to buy him lunch. I was weirded out. We stopped at McDonalds, which is inexpensive, at least. I ordered and told the guy at the register that the order was “to go,” because why wouldn’t it be? But when our food came out and Babu grabbed it, he asked me, “where do you want to sit?” Oh god… I’m about to sit at McDonalds and eat a meal with my Uber driver, I thought to myself.Luckily I wasn’t in a rush and didn’t have to worry about the time. We sat down and he sat diagonally from me, which was really odd. Of course, I snapchatted all of my friends “I’m currently on a date with my Uber driver at McDonalds <3”.  

When we arrived at my school, Babu offered to carry my bag straight to my dorm room. It was a nice offer, but I thought “Nah this is enough. This ends now.” I politely thanked him for the ride and wished him a safe ride home. As I carried my suitcase to my dorm, I couldn’t help but laughing. Certainly a great story to tell.