As college students, we experience a hookup/dating culture that is very different from how it has been throughout other points in our lives. Hooking up with and being interested in people can be extremely difficult and confusing—not to mention the new vocabulary it requires. The term ‘scheme’ in the hookup culture has been recently defined as the act of pursuing someone with the intention of hooking up with them. For how frequently the word is used, though, a scheme is not always so easy to execute. Still, whether you are interested in a good friend, someone who sits across from you in your Econ class, or just someone you caught a glimpse of in the Ratty, you do have the ability to control the situation. Believe it or not, we all have the potential to scheme.Here are some tips that will help guide you through the process.
Choosing the scheme:
Start by setting a specific goal for yourself by choosing one person at a time to scheme. It can be challenging to scheme ten different people and to be down to hook up with any of them if they are, too. That being said, it is okay—and recommended—to still have multiple potential ‘mental’ schemes in mind, in case your current scheme doesn’t work out. This helps you move on more easily if things don’t work out.
It is important to be realistic with the goals you set and to choose your scheme strategically. Here are some things to consider if you want to maximize your odds of actually hooking up with your top pick:
- Competition: Are there many other people scheming this person? Is your scheme really interested in someone else? If yes, your odds are lower—you know, statistically speaking.
- Personality clashes: Are you shy and do you know that your scheme is shy, too? Then who’s going to initiate first?
- Interaction frequency: How likely are you to cross paths with this person? Once every two months? That’s just not realistic because it is unlikely for you to have the chance to make your move.
Once you have the scheme:
When you have targeted a scheme, you want to get their attention in a non-aggressive way. Whether it is an in-person conversation or over Snapchat, these general guidelines apply. First impressions are obviously most important, but any interaction after that with someone you do not know well is equally crucial.
You want to show them that you are outgoing without coming on too strong. When talking to them, make them think you’re the type of person who could spark up a conversation with anyone, and not just a potential hook up. You need to be confident and show that you are completely comfortable in your skin, even if you feel extremely nervous. Keep the conversation going by asking general questions and commenting on funny or interesting things that are relevant. Banter and flirting is good because it keeps the conversation light and easy and will keep them engaged in the conversation. You want to show just enough of your personality that they are intrigued by you but still want more by the end. You want to give them the hint that you’re interested in them without giving too much away. If you keep the conversation too friendly, they will not get the hint. If you are in a situation where this is possible, show that you’re interested and then give them some space for a bit by walking away. Doing so shows that you have other people you also want to hang out with and that you are not needy or desperate.
Why taking the chance is and failing is better than not taking the chance at all:
If you are interested in someone, do not be afraid to take the initiative. It is attractive for a girl to take charge, and sometimes you have to take a risk by doing so. Rejection is the worst, but it is just a fact that not every person you want to get with is going to feel the same way. . You have to understand and accept that so that rejection does not stop you from trying again with someone new. It is extremely scary to put yourself out there, but you will never find something great if you never try. Feeling sad or embarrassed for a bit after being rejected is nothing in comparison to a scheme-less life. We are all confident, amazing women—so everyone get scheming;).