Society is forever changing and made of so many unique individuals that it is hard to ever summarise the feelings of each member adequately and accurately. However, one way of looking at the development and change of societal views is through laws and science; beliefs may not align with these facts but there is a presumable submission into accepting these facts. You may not believe in contraceptives, but their widespread and increase in use indicates that society has generally accepted them.
Now all the logistics have been clarified, through research and studies it is clear to me that sex and relationships are now more than ever, less taboo and more accepted in many different forms and experiences. The old days of traditionality are long gone, through acts such as sexual liberation and the legalisation of gay marriage.
Phillipe Brenot, author of the book ‘The Story of Sex,’ (known for its comedic illustrations and witty commentary) argues that the sexual revolution created the modern couple, which is now under threat. Now before people take this statement and run with it, implementing it in their prejudiced views on how groups X, Y and Z are destroying society as we know it, Brenot further clarifies the reason for this is that people are pickier with who they are marrying and continuing long term relationships with.
People are realising the malleability of the old institution of marriage and are simultaneously realising their worth. As Brenot says, ‘Love marriages have only been widespread for a century or so, and homosexuality was banned until very recently.’ Marriage is now becoming a union based on love rather than culture, allowing both partners to create their own terms and equality. This may have caused a rise in divorces, but surely being in a happy, loving and healthy relationship is more important?
Marriage and families are specifically human creations. They do not extend into the animal kingdom, where fathers and mothers have little to no obligations to each other or their offspring. Up until recently, we didn’t even have a way of determining the paternity of a child and consequently whether a father is responsible for ‘their’ child in the eyes of the law. However, marriage stems from the patriarchy, and it is only recently that people are reclaiming it for themselves and their own values.
As Brenot further argues, ‘Paternity is the beginning of male domination […] violence between men and women is only in humans because of marriage, which puts men above women.’ We see this alone in the tradition of women taking their husband’s surnames and symbolically and representatively becoming their spouse’s property. It wasn’t until 1991 that rape became illegal in Britain. However, with the invention of the modern-day contraceptive in the 1950s and the Equality Act of 2010, marriage and relationships have had to move with the times.
Suddenly, women can be as sexually liberated as they would like, without the risk of becoming pregnant. This has caused equality to become vital for successful marriages and relationships as women are no longer restricted or controlled by their male partners (in heterosexual relationships). This sexual liberation has been widespread and has allowed for different sexual practises to become normalised and different types of relationships. For instance, in the US in 2016, 4.5% of the population were in a polyamorous relationship/ consensual non-monogamy, and 20% of the population had at least tried or had previously been in a polyamorous relationship. We can even see the sexual liberation in media representations, from shows such as Netflix’s Bonding which follows a young dominatrix.
Of course, this change isn’t universal. There are examples of violence towards women being wrongly described as sexual liberation. According to a Durham University, study 1 out of 8 titles on the front pages of the UK’s most popular porn websites described sexual violence against women and girls. However, this violence has been prominent in society for as long as heterosexual monogamous relationships were the norm. What is different now is that women are being given the choices they previously didn’t and only good things can come from that.
Relationships and sex are becoming based more on equality than norms and it doesn’t seem to be slowing down on the opportunities and possibilities it is opening up; in both senses of the phrase.
This article is part of a themed content week for Women’s History Month.