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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Taylor Swift’s love lessons: what can we learn about dating, breakups, and never giving up on finding ‘the 1’. 

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Bristol chapter.

Swifties have once again triumphed as the long-awaited Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour hit Euro-American silver screens on 13th October 2023. Whatever the infamous great war with Ticketmaster did to alienate eager fans, the uncompromising 3-hour on-screen concert made it up as it takes audiences far and wide through an electrifying journey that shaped the global superstar we all adore. Close to two decades of music-making, she has already produced 10 albums spanning three genres, each painted with a distinct colour and persona, written in rawer and bolder language. Yet, if we cut back from her evolutionary facade and allow her songwriting roots to flourish, it’s not hard to spot that love has always been in Taylor’s air. From dramatic teenage infatuations to subtle adult fall-outs all the way to imaginary illicit affairs, the music industry’s track record in the romance department looks to be as fruitful, and she has no shame putting that on record. As we chant Taylor’s love and breakup anthems in unison once again, why not take a look at what the lyric master has to say about love?

Speak now or forever hold your peace

If young Taylor learnt anything as a newcomer to love, it’d be that love doesn’t wait. How regrettable it would be to watch your Superman fly away while you curl up in self-loathe mumbling, “I always forget to tell you I love you. I loved you from the very first day”. If you’ve bottled up your feelings for someone in memory, writing or even a song as Taylor did in Hey Stephen, or dreamt about “barging in white-veil occasions” to reclaim your love, that’s a clear sign you should just Speak Now. Maybe they’re waiting for you to call it what it is.

You must like me for me

A relationship finds strength not in the tranquil waters it cruises through but in the headwinds it braves. Taylor knew it all too well when she met Joe at the worst possible time of her reputation. While the pair may not have come to fruition, they have certainly stuck through ebbs and flows as society fell into turmoil shortly afterwards. Looking back at her dedicated albums Reputation and Lover, it became apparent that being and embracing each other’s authentic selves was the couple’s 6-year-long secret. Taylor has not only once reiterated how much she appreciated Joe for “see(ing) the best of me” “even in my worst times” (Dress), “lik(ing) me for me” (Delicate) and “really know(ing) me” (Call It What You Want). And as a reciprocation, she is willing to “swear to be overdramatic and true to (her) Lover“. It takes time and courage to let your guard down. But Taylor did just that when she had the least to offer. She’s the living proof that if a person loves you, they love you for who you are.

Time, Curious Time

This might sound unsettling, but time really makes or breaks a relationship. Sometimes, time could do it all wrong, for example, when a boy proposes to his long-time girlfriend only to be turned down in champagne problems, or when you realise you and your partner’s goals are sunshine and Midnight Rain. It hurts, but the wondrous thing about time is that it never stops moving and working. If you suffer a heartbreak, it doesn’t mean you’ll never love again. If you’re searching for love, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find the one. Sometimes, according to Taylor, all it takes to Begin (Again) is a (casual) “Wednesday in a cafe”. Trust your encounters. Time can be such a mastermind in disguise.

it’s a roller coaster kind of rush

No one promised that relationships would be solid and stable. More often than not, “it’s a roller coaster kind of rush”. Dramatic highs and lows seep through Taylor’s storied music: you started off on your tallest tiptoes, serenaded by your beloved’s charming gaze and endearing words, but words soon turned abusive, gaze averted, you tread on thin ground until the man is gone, leaving you hanging in despair, wondering what you’ve done wrong and whether he’ll come back. It could be quite disheartening mapping out a relationship this way, but what Taylor’s perhaps trying to say is: no love is immune from conflicts and vulnerability, so learn to live with it. Maybe the fallout’s what they need to realise that “you are the best thing that’s ever been Mine“. Maybe they missed out, but that doesn’t take away any of the fond memories you two created together. That’s likely why Taylor dedicates memoirs to each and every of her past love—they’re testimonies of The Way I Loved You, tributes to the time she remembered All Too Well (10 Minute Version).

The worst thing that I ever did Was what I did to you

Admission is not a saviour. Taylor has proved that in Back to December and maybe in betty, which are essentially apology letters played on a guitar. While the remorseful girl didn’t win back Taylor Lautner, who recently confirmed the song was about him, in 2010, fast forward to 2023, Lautner shocked the fandom by starring in the I Can See You (Taylor’s Version) music video and confirming that the two Taylors remain close friends. Maybe a sorry cannot save a languishing relationship, but it definitely makes parting easier and reuniting a possibility.

Should’ve known i be the first to leave

In both her folkloric and autobiographical eras, Taylor occasionally sheds light on major red flags in love. First, submissive relationships never work. Adapting to their capricious mood and ‘impressing’ them with a bountiful feast aren’t going to win you any brownie points. If you feel like you’ve been acting for the sake of “acing (your partner’s) tests”, Taylor’s advice is simple and straightforward: “run as fast as you can” (Dear John) or if you fancy a poetic touch, “(take) this dagger in (you) and (remove) it”. Don’t tolerate it; love is meant to be celebrated. Second, “nothing good starts in a getaway car“. Plunging into a new relationship just to escape from the previous one won’t take you anywhere. It’s only as exciting as fleeing a crime scene could go, which we know getting arrested and framed for crime is Taylor’s greatest fear. Being in the right headspace is important.

Sometimes to run is the brave thing

Running away from toxicity is nothing shameful but very brave in Taylor’s eyes. There’s no obligation to stay at a place that you know will “only break (your) heart worse” (it’s time to go). Going beyond, bravely let go of them. They shouldn’t weigh you down in your run towards new possibilities and relationships. Decide what is yours to hold, and let the rest go. Oftentimes, the good things in your life are lighter anyway, so there’s more room for them. One toxic relationship can outweigh so many wonderful, simple joys. You get to pick what your life has time and room for, so be discerning,” Taylor said in her NYU Graduation Speech in 2022.

Are you ready for it?

Whether you are ready to embark on an epic journey of love, Taylor seems to be moving on well as she was spotted attending NFL player Travis Kelce’s game in Kansas City and later holding hands with the sports celebrity earlier. As a fan, seeing her happy is my greatest relief. May I wish her every success in finding “the 1”.

Charlotte Ip

Bristol '25

Actively seeking profound stories or unique perspectives, Charlotte spends her days analysing and overanalysing authentic written works with a particular knack for dystopian fiction. Other times, you may find her engaging in a philosophical discussion about “quiet leadership” or a light-hearted chat about Taylor Swift. To make sure she’s all ears, buy her ice cream.