When I was younger, Christmas was always one of my favourite times of the year. The quality time spent with ordinarily busy working parents, family traditions of dressing up in sparkly outfits to embrace the magic that surrounded the holiday season, and of course, the food. As a child, I loved that chocolate could be eaten at any time of the day, food was in abundance, and rules and routine were thrown out the window.
Approaching Christmas with an eating disorder was an entirely different experience.
Everything about Christmas sets off alarm bells in the head of someone suffering with an eating disorder. The loss of structure, the distant relatives you haven’t seen all year, the overt focus on food, large meals and indulgence, the intense social situations, the lack of time to exercise, the change in meal times and food served – the list is truly endless.
It is no wonder that for many this period can lead to high levels of anxiety, difficulty sleeping and a constant feeling of unease and apprehension.
Beat This Together, Bristol University’s eating disorder awareness society, would like to bring you a few top tips that might help Christmas feel a little less intimidating. They may not work for everyone and anyone, but they are tips created from lived experience.
1. Acceptance
Accept that this is an anxiety provoking time, there is no hiding from that, but equally this period of time is temporary. The emotions, just like Christmas, will pass. Admit to yourself that this is a difficult time to allow yourself to make changes to minimise those struggles and reduce associated emotions.
2. Create a list of coping skills
It may take a while to find the coping strategies that work best for you, but once they do – that list is invaluable. Examples could include a hug with a pet, colouring books or puzzles, podcasts or films.
3. Communicate
Talk to your friends and family. They want to help you and support you, and you can in turn help them by letting them know what is useful and what may be counterproductive.
4. Create a plan
This can give you a feeling of control. Something that many may look to their eating disorder for, in times of stress. Reduce the element of surprise and spontaneity where possible. It’s great to try and push yourself but Christmas might not be the ideal setting for this.
5. Mistakes happen
If you do fall into an old habit or struggle at a social event, don’t beat yourself up. Forgive yourself, learn from the experience and move forwards with your recovery.
6. Sit with safe people for the Christmas meal
You might need that little bit of extra support from those you feel most comfortable around. Take time to socialise with others away from the table.
7. Do not restrict in the build up to Christmas
Although this may be very tempting, it is only going to perpetuate rigid eating disorder cycles and keep you from moving forwards in your recovery.
8. Plan time out
Christmas is exhausting. Recovery is exhausting. Put the two together and it’s no wonder you might need some time out to recharge. Make your family aware you might need to do this, and have a think ahead of time about what helps you relax the best.
9. Have some post lunch distractions
Sitting around a laden table is likely to increase anxiety, so get away from the table. Perhaps a family board game or a classic Christmas film – anything that gets your mind off the Christmas meal.
10. Beat helpline is open
The Beat helpline is even open on Christmas day (4-8pm) so if you’re struggling to find support elsewhere – pick up the phone.
And remember, you are not alone. There are countless people feeling the same way that you do this christmas. Your fears and anxieties are real and genuine and please do not feel the need to explain yourself to anyone. Your recovery is the most important thing.
Get involved with Beat This Together by buying membership from the SU website – this will get you free and discounted access to events such as yoga, pottery painting, laser tag, pamper evenings and educational talks.
This article is part of our Festive themed week 2019. Happy holidays from Her Campus Bristol!