Well done everyone, we’ve made it. We’ve made it past #NewYearNewMe and past the insufferable soppiness that happens all over social media around Valentine’s Day. Finally we can stop feeling sorry for our own loveless lives and embrace being single and enjoying life! Congratulations to all for making it to this part of the year! And yet Easter has decided to hit us exceptionally early this year (or so it seems to me), Lent being already upon us, begging the question: what will you be giving up in order to make your life better? This is a question I struggle with every year. But here’s a thought, what if this year, you tried abstinence? That’s right, you heard me, abstinence. A lack of sex. A complete and utter absence from the best indulgence of them all. Do you think you could do it? For the purposes of writing this blog, I trawled through my not-too-distant memory, trying to decide whether my most recent of sexual encounters were worth it or whether waiting for the next semi-right person was the route I should take instead.There was that guy on a beach in Vietnam for example. 48 hours of drinking down, surrounded by 30 or so other frisky 20-25 year olds, I found myself doing the deed in a beach hut, no sheets at all for modesty and the couple in the bed next to us for company. ‘Was he worth it?’ I thought to myself. His less than adequately sized penis and most definitely less than satisfactory time capabilities seem to scream no.
Then there was the boy, or should I say boys, in the twelve-bed dorm. There, I found myself having a bit of fun with a lovely man one night, only to find myself the next night doing it with his best friend. This may not be so bad, perhaps, if the second lucky fellow had not been awake and listening, in the bunk underneath us, the night before. Neither of them really fulfilled any sexual fantasies. So what was I gaining? Other than a wonderful sexual anecdote, nothing much really.In fact, it seems a large part of my adolescence life has been filled with slightly less than satisfactory, and ultimately absolutely meaningless, sex.And so I turn to a dear friend of mine who, after several wonderful sexual experiences, decided, and has maintained the decision for three years and counting I might add, complete and utter abstinence. No, she’s not weird or ugly or just can’t get any. She is in fact, one of the most inspirational, confident, gorgeous women I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting and has, quite coincidentally, recently written a blog that made me think twice about the concept. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to start a life of abstinence myself, I don’t think I have the will power to do so. But for the first time ever, after reading her blog, I realised that it’s a perfectly viable, wonderfully feminist and amazing thing to do. In fact, if you are abstinent, we should be praising you for being able to keep yourself apart from another human being despite any carnal urges and desires you may have. Abstinence is inspirational and nothing else.For want of preserving her, and my own, identity, I won’t go into details about her post, but in it she mentions an ability to form an actual, intellectual relationship with someone that doesn’t revolve around sex. It’s not sex that heals arguments (my usual port of call), but instead discussion. It’s not with sex that she and her boyfriend greet each other, but with a loving and appreciative conversation.And so, as ever, I like to leave you all with a slightly moral thought. I don’t think abstinence in its entirety is the thing for me, but I do perhaps feel that thinking before I give the next lucky man a night in heaven would be advised. But after Lent, I’m back to my normal self.