Before anyone starts to judge me too quickly, I feel like I need to defend myself a little. If I’m honest, I’ve been going through a recent dry spell, the longest I’ve ever had in fact. It got to that point where the cobwebs just needed to be blown away and so my standards in looking for my next one-night-only partner were somewhat lowered. Combined with my beer goggles being firmly in place, this night of passion seemed like a good idea at the time. Realistically, however, nothing excuses what I did.
Yep, I slept with a guy who has a girlfriend. The story itself follows the rule of many of my one-night stands; a direct result of the amount of vodka I had drunk and my vagina’s apparent inability to remain satisfied for more than a week.
I invited a ‘mate’ out for a drink with a group of friends and, despite him saying yes, he didn’t turn up. A few hours and a lot of tequila shots on my behalf later, I’d completely forgotten my earlier invite. He clearly hadn’t and, apparently thinking I intended more than I did, he invited me over for an après-drink at his house.
My skills can only be described as James-Bond-like as I crept up his back staircase, ran past the open doors of his awake roommates and finally made it to the safety of his bedroom. He had told me that I couldn’t be loud on arrival because they couldn’t know I was here. I however, failed to make the connection that he had more planned than just watching a movie.
In hindsight, we shouldn’t have even bothered with being quiet on arrival, because trying to tell drunk me to be quiet whilst actually doing the deed is pretty much impossible. Realistically, his housemates must have heard, or maybe they thought he was just watching porn really loudly. Whatever they thought, we had sex, and it was good.
Now the cobwebs are officially blown away, as ever, I like to leave any fellow sex enthusiasts with a little nugget of golden advice as I sign out for the week. Many of us have been that girlfriend who’s been cheated on; it’s embarrassing, humiliating and just downright horrible when you find out, whether a day or a year later. That much remains obvious.
But sometimes it’s not nice being that other girl either. Being completely hammered had meant that I wasn’t entirely in the best decision-making mind, and waking up in the morning I immediately regretted my decisions. Sure, the sex was good, but what else did I get out of it? I am a stringent feminist and yet for that one night I let my guard down, letting a guy take complete advantage of me for no real personal gain. He never has to text, never has to speak to me, never even has to see me again. In fact he’s goes unpunished for the incident, while I’m left feeling used and a bit rubbish.
The fact remains that no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we knew what we were getting into when we did it, and how empowered we feel by embracing our own sexuality, we let a fellow girl down when we do stuff like this and we let ourselves down. Honestly, there’s nothing worse than the rejection of sleeping with a guy, only to know that the next day he’s sleeping with his girlfriend – probably enjoying it a hell of a lot more.
I’ll be honest, my realisation of this fact led me to take out my anger on Facebook. The very next day the man in question posted a couple’s picture of him and his girlfriend smiling away happily. I ‘liked’ it subtly. She’ll never know, but for him, it’s a subtle reminder that he needs to think with his head not his penis and keep his pants on. This was maybe one sexual experiment too far, time to go back to what I know.