Mental health is not as clear cut as a race. There is no finishing line and really there is no start line either. Mental health is more like a trampoline, you go up and you go down, you may do a really cool jump with flips and kicks, you might break your ankle. But, on a trampoline there is no specific start or finish. And unless you’re a professional trampolinist (and if so, that’s awesome), there is no end goal that has been written out that you must get to. That is the same with mental health.
Everyone’s mental health is different. Terms such as good and bad, make it seem more binary than it is. In reality, mental health is such a broad term that to generalise everything under than term as either good or bad is ineffective. Therefore, if you ever feel like you’re not progressing in your mental health journey or that you’re going backwards, remember that most likely isn’t the case.
Imagine a woman named Patricia. Patricia is a university student who suffers with depression. Her most prominent symptoms are her inability to get out of bed, lack of motivation and low moods. To combat this, Patricia goes to the doctor. She is prescribed some medication and is given therapy. Fortunately, these methods work, and Patricia finds her depression symptoms to ease and her quality of life to improve. However, one day, for some unidentifiable reason, Patricia feels worse than she has ever felt, and she can’t seem to shake it. Of course, Patricia may feel like she’s failed, like all the work she had done had been for nothing. This is not true.
Although the reason for Patricia’s depression symptoms to get worse isn’t identifiable, there probably is one. From the weather, to hormones, to really anything under the sun, our mental health can be affected by a multitude of things. Patricia hasn’t failed and she hasn’t wasted her time. Patricia did all that work to help not only the woman she once was, but also who she is today. Who is to say that without all that prior work she has done, she would have been feeling even worse- even if that doesn’t feel possible?
According to Premier Health, approximately 50% of people who have suffered from depression will have a setback in their lifetime. That is a higher percentage of people than people with blue eyes and 5 times higher than the percentage of people who are left-handed in the world. It is extremely common and entirely natural. It is a normal occurrence, which has nothing to do with any sliver of failure.
This isn’t always easy to remember, so here are some ways we can try to make ourselves feel better when we are in the middle of a mental health set back. These tips will not work for everyone. The most important thing to do is to see a mental health professional. In the meantime, however, first treat yourself as if you were physically sick. No one violently vomiting gets upset with themselves for vomiting from a stomach bug, struggling with your mental health is the same. So, that means you are in desperate need and entitled to a chill day, or week if need be. Watch films, drink tea, eat toast or soup or whatever you need to do. It’s okay to just stop for a little bit to recharge. On that note, however, do not let this become your normal. Exercise, fresh-air, all the annoying cliches we’re told in PE class, whilst wearing hideously stained, yellow bibs, are true. If you are finding this impossible, try to reach out to a friend, a family member, or a mental health professional.
To avoid setbacks or at the very least to diminish their effect on yourself, try to identify the stressor that has prompted it. This isn’t always possible, and therefore if you can’t find it, that’s okay. Don’t make yourself feel worse trying to find it. If you can find it, look at how you can adapt situations to avoid or limit the stressors presence in your life. It’s all about practise.
We are not story characters. Our book doesn’t end when we get a happily ever after. It’s okay if once we find our metaphorical and hopefully more fulfilling prince charming, that we realise the castle is making us sick and we need to leave. Life is too complex for our mental health to stay fixed once we reach our mental health goals. Life is too complex to not fit the generic cliché of being a rollercoaster.